Hey Ladies

Hey ladies in the place, I'm callin' out to ya
There never was a city kid truer and bluer
There's more to me than you'll ever know
And I've got more hits than Sadaharu Oh
Tom Thumb, Tom Cushman or Tom Foolery
I date women on T.V. with the help of Chuck Woolery
Words are flowing out just like the Grand Canyon
And I'm always out looking for a female companion
I threw the lasso around the tallest one and dragged her to the crib
I took off her moccasins and put on my bib
Wheelin' and dealin' I make a little bit of stealing
I'll bring her back to the place and your dress I'm peeling
Your body's on time and your mind is appealing
Staring at the cracks up there up on the ceiling
Such and such'll be the bass that I'm throwing
I'm talking to the girl telling her I'm all-knowing
She's talking to the kid (who?) to the kid, to the kid
I'm telling her every lie that you know that I never did
Hey ladies, get funky

All the ladies in the house
The ladies, the ladies

Well, me in the corner with a good looking daughter
I dropped my drawers, said welcome back Kotter
We was cutting up the rug, she started cutting up the carpet
In my apartment, I begged her, please stop it
The gift of gab is the gift that I have
And that girl ain't nothing but a crab
Educated no, stupid yep
And when I say stupid, I mean stupid fresh
I'm not James at fifteen or Chachi in charge
I'm Adam and I'm adamant about living large
With the white sassoons and the looks that kill
Makin' love in the back of my Coupe De Ville
I met a little cutie she was all hopped up on zootie
I liked the little cutie but I kicked her in the bootie
'Cause I don't kinda go for that messin' around
You be listening to my records' a number one sound
Just step to the rhythm, step, step to the ride
I've got an open mind so why don't you all get inside?
Tune in, turn on to my tune that's live
Ladies flock like bees to a hive
Hey ladies, get funky

Hey, hey, hey, hey ladies (girls, girls)
Hey, hey, hey, hey, ladies
One more time, ain't it funky now?
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey ladies
(Ain't it funky now?) well, you know that

She got a gold tooth you know she's hardcore
She'll show you a good time then she'll show you the door
Break up with your girl it ended in tears
Vincent Van Gogh go and mail that ear
Call her in the middle of the night when I'm drinking
The phone booth on the corner is damp and it's stinking
Said come on over it was me that she missed
I threw that trash can through her window 'cause you know I got dissed
Your old lady left you and you went insane
You blew yourself up in the back of the six train
Take my advice at any price a gorilla like your mother is mighty weak
Sucking down pints until I didn't know
Woke up in the morning with a one-ton ho
'Cause I announce I like girls that bounce
With the weight that pays about a pound per ounce
Girls with curls and big long locks
And beatnik chicks just wearing their smocks
Walking high and mighty like she's number one
(She thinks she's the passionate one)

Hey ladies, get funky
Dance
Good god
Baby, baby, baby, baby
Ain't it funky brother?
Hey, hey, hey, hey ladies
Hey ladies