The Day Basketball Was Saved

Rosey, how are you?
Jackie, hey man, that's really out of sight
Well, thanks, Rosey wow, you sure are big
Well, you know
Being big get me into a lot of doors
Man, you're big enough to be an athlete so
You ever play any sports?
Just a little figure skating
Why don't you come up to the house and
Play some basketball with us some time
Oh, I'll see if I can round
Up a few figure skaters
You better bring your best man 'cause me and
My brothers are gonna put you away
Beat us? You little guys? Right
In your wildest dream
You ain't never seen a team like
I gotlike I gotlike I got

Peanuts! Popcorn! Peanuts! Popcorn!
The sporting world's had many teams
The fans have called first rate
They had the Yankees in the '40s
All agreed were really great
Packers and Celtics piled up
Records hard to beat
But good as they all seem to be
They tasted of defeat
No team has ever won 'em all
And always stayed on top
Except that group of superstars no
Team could ever stop
A bunch of splendid athletes who
All stood strong and tall
They called themselves the Dream Team
And their game was basketball
The center, a massive collection of bones
Was known by the nickname of Skyscraper Jones
The forwards were both
Brilliant ball handlers, too
Named Kangaroo Carson and Dead-Eye McGoo
The guards were two giants who
Played with great cool
Called Bulldozer Benson and Hookshot O'Toole
Together they moved like a well-oiled machine
And ran up such scores it was almost obscene
The team is unbeatable, everyone said
And if no one can beat them
Then basketball's dead
Basketball's dead, yes, basketball's dead
No team will beat them
So no team can meet them theit'sdead
But wait, folks! (Huh, it's not?)
From out of Indiana like bees from a hive
Came a little known team called the Jackson 5
They came with a mission impossbily tough
To whip the Dream Team
'til they holler "Enough"
We'll razzle your frazzle
We'll muzzle you guys
We'll dazzle each one of you
Right down to size
We'll shiver your timbers 'til
All of you fall the Jacksons will beat you
And save basketball

A laugh roars up on the Dream Team's side
And they laughed so hard
That they nearly cried
Go home, little boys, get off the court
It's a big man's game, you're much too short
Too short, my foot, that's just your way
Of saying you're afraid to play
Afraid to play? Hear that squirt?
Go home before you all get hurt
We'd like to get just one thing straight
We heard you guys was really great
But so far all we've heard is talk
Are you gonna play or are you gonna walk?"

With that the Dream Team got real mad
And they blew what little cool they had
This time you guys, you've gone too far
We'll show you all how good we are
We'll play you now but we're so sore
We may not even let you score
Oh yeah? Oh yeah? We've heard it all
Let's cut the talk and et's play ball
So the teams lined up and the ball was tossed
And the game got underway
And the Dream Team knew from
The very first tap
That the Jacksons knew how to play
They dribbled, they passed, they faked
They shot
They hustled, they drove right on through
And every time that the Dream Team scored
Well, the Jackson 5 scored, too

When the buzzer went off at
The end of the half
The Dream Team wanted to hide
They couldn't believe it was happening
But the score was really tied
We've gotta stop those guys
We've gotta stop 'em quick
We've gotta realize
They're looking mighty slick
We've gotta start our drive
Or think of some good trick
To stop the Jackson 5
They're making us look sick!
(Sick! Sick! Sick! Sick) hey, I've got a way
Let's fill them up with peanuts and popcorn
And then see how they play
Hey, Mr Vendor, listen to me
Those Jacksons could use some energy
So pass out your tray and let them grab
We're such good sports we'll pick up the tab

We've got a great attack
We've got them on the run
If we can hold them back
Then we'll be number one
We have the final lap
The jump will be reveresed
Just play the second half
The way we played the first yeah!

Jackie, come and check the score
I'll be right back
Guys don't leave the floor
Peanuts! Popcorn! Have a ball!
Free of charge, kids take it all
Free of charge? Is that for real?
Free of charge! That's some good deal!
Maybe we shouldn't! Maybe we should!
It may be bad! And it may be good!
What if Jackie finds out?
Who's going to tell?
Then, I guess we might as well!

So the Jacksons ate 'til all
The food was gone
While the cheerleaders cheered the
Two teams on

Re-bop, re-bop, hootie-rootie zackie
Come on, Dream Team, let's stop Jackie
Michael, Marlon, Tito, and Jermaine
We've got the brawn, we've got the brains
Dream Team! Dream Team!
Fly high, fly high, fly high

One, two, three, ABC, Do-Re-Mi, man alive!
Ho ho ho! Ho ho ho! Go go go! Jackson 5!

The whistle blew for the second half
The excitement filled the place
You could tell both teams were all charged up
As they stood there face to face
They dribbled, they passed, they faked
They shot they moved with dazzling speed
But the two teams seemed so evenly matched
Neither one could hold the lead
With 15 seconds left in the game
The Dream team led by one
They knew if they could freeze the ball
The Jacksons would be done
Just then the four young Jackson boys
Began to moan and groan
They dropped to the ground with bellyaches
Leaving Jackie standing alone
Too much popcorn! Too many peanuts!
We had too much junk!"
We're sorry, Jackie, we let you down!
It looks like the Jacksons are sunk!

The ref called time to remove the boys
"The game's over!" he said "You're through!"
But Jackie said, "Ref, I'll play myself
If that's what I have to do"
So the ref gave Jackie the ball and said:
"There's time for one more play"
And Jackie said, "Well, that's all I need
I know I'll find a way"

Jackie took the ball and started out
Way at the end of the court
But he still had to get past five of the best
Who ever played the sport
As the clock kept ticking the seconds away
No mistake could he afford
But he went all the way
With a brilliant display
And as the buzzer went off, he scored!

All the fans in the stands went wild
When Jackie won the game
And the Dream Team said he played so well
He belonged in the Hall of Fame

So the Jackson 5 ended up on top
And we thank them one and all
For not only did they beat the best
They also saved the game of basketball