The Breakfast Club Freestyle (From The TV Show “DAVE”)

[Verse]
Y’all probably didn’t know what this was
Y’all probably about to hop on this bus
If you know somebody that’ll call my bluff then line ‘em all up, they will all need hugs - condolences
In my own lane like bowling pins
I’m so dumb I don’t even know where Poland is
Suburban kid, I got it at the roller rink
My girl just left, I should not have said that
But I guess I was due for a setback
I’m still dripping with the sauce, need a wet nap
My dick sucks so bad
Y’all don’t even wanna know the details
You don’t want to know about the surgeries
I kept it all inside till now, fuck it, I’ll tell everybody
Two holes on my shaft. Hypospadias, look it up
I love when my fans are black, I’m a little tone deaf
Yeah what of it?
You know my heart is in the right place, I’ve been working like a dog in this bitch
And that phrase doesn’t even make no sense ‘cause dogs work probably the least of all the animals in the world
I’m sweet like a sorbet, Mike call Meek about to get another tour date
More cake, give me more hate, this is horseplay, hot in a North Face, you cannot ignore Dave
I know I’m privileged
Eh, let’s not even go there
Out here fucking it up, uh
But I’m still fucking it up, wait
Little body, but the boy sound tough
Hold up, but they saying I’m not rap. Charlamagne, this is Hip-Hop right?
Give me the facts, just keep it real
I’m up and down, like off and on
I was an Ad man at Omnicon
I used to eat it with the parents at the Olive Garden
I was wearing nothing but Ralph Lauren
My mom adorned me, and I like milking porn
But I guess that’s less important
Just a little side note about me
Tell Gata no need, I don’t even need weed
I’ll smoke this beat like
All of that, all that smoke, I need all of that
Trust-fall them, they falling back
I don’t know nothing about life but I write it like a book
Wait, how you doing?
I’m good, great
And if you see me up on the street, say, “Hi, LD”
And I’ll stop you and say, "Well, my name is….”