Razor Burn

[Verse 1]
Sitting in the bathtub, shaving my legs
I got a yeast infection, so my pussy feels like bacon and eggs
I make sure to be careful and not cut my skin
Last time I bled out before it had even even begin
Ouch!

[Verse 2]
Oh fuck, I cut myself again!
I need to tourniquet the wound before I bleed out again
Wait, that blood seems like it could be a good use for lube
Nothing like a shutdown of my sieve tubes
(Sexual moaning)

[Pre-Chorus]
Wait, I feel weird
Who's that?

[Chorus]
(Deborah)
I'm Deborah
It is me
J-Lo will never drink my pee
(Deborah)
I am nice
My discharge feels like ice

[Verse 3]
Where am I?
I'm in the Himalayas
The squirrel inside my cervix is such a playa
Wait, now I'm at the burlesque show
Christina Aguilera, watch out, no!

[Verse 4]
Oh dear God, her head was chainsawed off
Now the pigs are eating it in their trough

[Pre-Chorus]
What a strange and funny day I am having
Oh look over there, the twins are teabagging

[Chorus]
(Deborah)
I think I'm having a hallucination
Fingering myself with my blood is causation
(Deborah)
Sigourney Weaver I'm sorry for mauling your face
I'm tired of rhyming, get me out of this hell

[Bridge]
Sex is only good if you stick a fork in it
Someone tell Michael's corpse to stop jerking it
My poisonous femur blood fermented inside my cervix and gave me horrifying visions
I just want to go back to when Glass Slipper was my best decision
Wait, I think I'm finally waking up
Finally I am free from this nightmare--oh my fucking God my house is on fire what the fuck do I do?

[Chorus]
(Deborah)
I'm Deborah, and I have first degree burns all over my body
(Deborah)
I'm Deborah, the only thing that can solve this is some antibody