Popcorn / Vernon

[Verse 1]
I was walking through Central Park, prepping for my world tour
When a man came up behind me and called me a nasty whore
I thought he was homeless, so I maced him
And then I kicked him in his fat nuts again and again and again
When I calmed down, I looked down and saw a hot daddy wearing a uniform
I helped him up and my pussy started to get warm
He told me his name was Vernon, which is ugly, but it's whatever

[Pre-Chorus]
I usually don't go for men with a lower pay grade than me
But I can tell your dick is big and it makes me want to pee
Oh shit, I think I did pee
Hang on, just listen to the chorus I'll be right back

[Chorus]
Why pop that popcorn when you can pop my pussy?
Stick your salami inside, my insides are warm and mushy
It's not a yeast infection, I swear
I queefed and it dispersed into the air

[Post-Chorus]
Popcorn
Popcorn
Popcorn
Popcorn
Popcorn
Popcorn
Popcorn
POPCORN

[Verse 2]
I lead Vernon back to my tour bus
I was ready to give him a slice of this floppy, juicy puss
I lit some candles and put on my lacy cum-encrusted panties
But as I was getting ready, I realized my condoms had been stolen by some vigilantes

[Pre-Chorus]
I decided it didn't matter; I could always get an abortion
I was blinded by sexual distortion
I wanted that dick like a granny wants butterscotch
So I got on my knees in front of his crotch

[Chorus]
Why pop that popcorn when you can pop my pussy?
Stick your salami inside, my insides are warm and mushy
It's not a yeast infection, I swear
I queefed and it dispersed into the air
You make me feel so high
But last time I did coke, my daughter died
I wish I could remember her name
But all I can think about is dick, and how it came

[Bridge: Deborah Healy and Vernon]
Hungrily, I unbuttoned his pants and ripped them down
I was ready to go to pound town
His musk was equivalent to a colonel
But to my surprise, his cock was the size of a popcorn kernel
I was so distraught I backed up and knocked over a candle
The entire van lit up in flames when I reached the handle
Deborah, please help me!
No, faggot

[Chorus]
Why pop that popcorn when you can pop my pussy?
Stick your salami inside, my insides are warm and mushy
It's not a yeast infection, I swear
I queefed and it dispersed into the air
You make me feel so high
But last time I did coke, my daughter died
I wish I could remember her name
But all I can think about is dick, and how it came
Maybe if Vernon stanned Deborah Healy he wouldn't have died
But his dick was smaller than his pride
I moan like a foghorn, make me popcorn
(Popcorn, popcorn)