How Does Deborah Healy Stay So Thin?

[Verse 1]
Becoming Deborah Healy was the best decision I've made
My fame, my fans, my fortune
They will all follow me to the grave
My stans are all so loyal, they'd do anything for me
Literally, I've made a list from A-Z
But that's for another song, I have to prep for an interview
Everybody wants Deborah on a late night talk show, who knew?
Last night I played beer pong but I shot the balls out of my coochie
And I dared the host to lick my booby
I was trending #1 on Twitter all day
And I know when people look at me, they all say

[Chorus]
How does Deborah Healy stay so thin?
Is it because of the baby blood I bathe in?
How does Deborah Healy stay so thin?
I've made a habit out of murdering Siamese twins

[Verse 2]
I was swarmed by a flock of faggots while I was going to Whole Foods for some kelp
It was overwhelming, so I did my best Lady Gaga impersonation and yelled, "Help!"
I did an ad for Victoria's Secret, and I gave all the crew members boners, but they can keep it
I'm becoming stan Twitter's favorite bitch, and they all think I'm an ancient witch
I thought about having a lesbian affair, but I feel like it already happened and it involved a peach and some pubic hair
When I'm on the red carpet, I look like every boy's wet dream
All the interviewers, they look in the camera and scream

[Chorus]
How does Deborah Healy stay so thin?
Is it because of the baby blood I bathe in?
How does Deborah Healy stay so thin?
I've made a habit out of murdering Siamese twins

[Bridge]
Being famous is so fun, why would I ever stop?
I'm going to be the one to revive and revolutionize pop
They will engrave me on mountains and put me in history books
And everyone will be entranced by my good looks
Maybe one day I will have a sex tape leaked
"This isn't fair!," I'll shriek, as if I haven't fucked half the city already
My metallic pussy is drier than the Serengeti
I hand out free poppers at every show
Along with ten-inch dildos, I'm an excellent throw
I'm on everyone's mind in real life and online
And no matter who it is, they all cry

[Chorus]
How does Deborah Healy stay so thin?
Is it because of the baby blood I bathe in?
How does Deborah Healy stay so thin?
I've made a habit out of murdering Siamese twins
How does Deborah Healy stay so thin?
Is it because I have committed the most mortal sin?
How does Deborah Healy stay so thin?
I'm standing in your doorway with a mortifying grin
How does Deborah Healy stay so thin?
Every full moon, I steal an orphan's skin
How does Deborah Healy stay so thin?
I'll get some horse radish and eat it out of your foreskin