Love My Lips

Narrator: "One day while talking with Dr. Archibald, Larry confronts one
of his deepest fears ..."
Larry: "If my lips ever left my mouth, packed a bag and headed south,
that'd be too bad, I'd be so sad."
Archibald: "I see. That'd be too bad, you'd be so sad?"
Larry: "That'd be too bad. If my lips said "adios, I don't like you I
think you're gross," that'd be too bad, I might get mad."
Archibald: "That'd be too bad, you might get mad?"
Larry: "That'd be too bad. If my lips moved to Duluth, left a mess and
took my tooth, that'd be too bad, I'd call my Dad."
Archibald: "That'd be too bad, you'd call your Dad?"
Larry: "That'd be too bad."
Archibald: "Hold it. Did you say your father? Fascinating! So what
you're saying is that if your lips left you ..."
Larry: "That'd be too bad, I'd be so sad, I might get mad, I'd call my
Dad. That be too bad."
Archibald: "That'd be to bad?"
Larry: "That'd be too bad."
Archibald: "Why?"
Larry: "Because I love my lips." [Scatting]
Archibald: "Oh my ... This is more serious than I thought. Larry, tell
me, what do you see here?"
Larry: "Um, that looks like a lip."
Archibald: "And this?"
Larry: "It's a lip!"
Archibald: "And this?"
Larry: "It's a lip, it's a lip, it's a lip lip lip! It's a lip, it's a
lip, it's a lip lip lip! It's a lip, it's a lip, it's a lip lip lip.
Lis. Lip lip lip."
Archibald: "Larry, tell me about your childhood."
Larry: "When I was just two years old I left my lips out in the cold and
they turned blue. What could I do?"
Archibald: "They turned blue, what could you do?"
Larry: "Oh they turned blue. On the day I got my tooth I had to kiss my
Great Aunt Ruth. She had a beard ... and it felt weird."
Archibald: "My, my. She had a beard and it felt weird?"
Larry: "She had a beard. Ten days after I turned eight, got my lips
stuck in a gate. My friends all laughed. And I just stood there until
the fire department came and broke the lock with a crow bar and I had to
spend the next six weeks in lip rehab with this kid named Oscar who got
stung by a bee - right on the lip - and we couldn't even talk to each
other until the fifth week because both our lips were so swollen, and
when he did start speaking he just spoke Polish and I only knew like
three words in Polish except now I know four because Oscar taught me the
word for lip: Oofta."
Archibald: "Your friends all laughed ... Usta? How do you spell that?"
Larry: "I don't know."
Archibald: "So what you're saying is that when you were young ..."
Larry: "They turned blue, what could I do? She had a beard and it felt
weird. My friends all laughed ... Oofta!"
Archibald: "I'm confused ..."
Larry: "I love my lips!" [Scatting]
Narrator: "This has been Silly Songs With Larry. Tune in next time to
hear Larry say ..."
Larry: "Have I ever told you how I feel about my nose?"
Archibald: "Oh, look at the time!"