It Were a Brilliant Night

Pop a polo in your mouth
Wipe that spittle off yer chin
Your wife’s goin’t go bananas
When she see’s the state you’re in
We were supposed to have a quiet one
Just one or two pints after work
But now its six o clock int morning
She is goin’t go bezerk
CHORUS
Coz someone’s shaved off your eyebrows
And you’ve got a strange tattoo
You’re wearing someone else’s trousers
I think that’s bile in your shoe
And you’re going to have trouble
Explaining all of those love bites
But put it all into perspective
It were a brilliant night
We went on a twelve hour bender
Pints of bitter smooth as silk
‘Told wife you’d be back for Newsnight
Now you’re coming in wit milk
I can’t remember half the evening
No clear memories just guesses
I do remember one pub clearly
Coz all the blokes were wearing dresses
And when your wife she claps eyes on you
She’ll say you look a disgrace
Someone took a magic marker
Wrote naughty words all o’er thi face
Cutting your own hair on absinthe
I don’t think really that was right
But sod it you are only young once
It were a brilliant night
Whose house party did we gatecrash?
So very drunk I couldn’t tell
At one point you needed the toilet
I think that wardrobes going to smell
Whoever’s house we ended up in
Thank you for a reet good laugh
But they'll have to get the bleach out
After what you did in't bath
We went out with good intentions
We came back with traffic cones
Lost our dignity at midnight
And our keys, wallets, phones
We received a formal caution
Those policewomen were polite
Let’s do it all again tomorrow
What a brilliant night