Having Fun Is Bad for You

I used to go to all the parties
And make love to all the beautiful ladies
And I'd eat cheeseburgers with bacon and extra grease when I was
Hungry
And drink Windex Colladas until my skin turned blue
But now,the times they are a-changing
My lifestyle, it is rearranging
For debauchery may be fun and entertaining
But it is also very bad for you
Do you know how many diseases you can get
Making love to someone who has not had all their tests
So nowadays, I am celibate
And I wear a condom, in case I have dirty thoughts
I never drive my car past the speed limit
And I always wear my seat belt when I am in it
I traded my Lambourghini for a Honda Civic
Because it is more fuel-efficient and practical
Ay-yi-yi! Ay-yi-yo!
Being boring is the way to go!
Ay-yi-yi! Ay-yi-yo!
Having fun is bad for you!
I can no longer smoke my cigarettes
Because I found that they are a major cause of death
The tar and nicotine have not killed me yet
But if I got pregnant, they could hurt my baby
I used to love my sorry complexion (sorry?)
I tanned myself to perfection
But the sun can give you a cancerous infection
So now I'm white and pasty and I never leave the house
I used to eat like there was no tomorrow
But then I found cholesterol is full of sorrow
The last thing I want to do is to have to borrow
Somebody else's heart, because mine is full of fatty deposits
Ay-yi-yi! Ay-yi-yo!
Being boring is the way to go!
Ay-yi-yi! Ay-yi-yo!
Having fun is bad for you!
Having fun is bad for you!