Godlight

There's no way out of an angry crowd without steppin' on some toes
They'll scream your name 'til the lights go out then they'll feed you to the wolves
It's hard to say who you'll be when they let those big red curtains close
You know this 'cause you told me so

I bet you forgot black heels in the summertime
Dad's bad cookin' though, you'd be polite
Honey, now you got a look that I don't recognize
You pulled me aside and you said

To know me is to hate me
Is to hate what I've become
It's to watch me as I'm fallin'
From that ladder's last rung
It's to feel it like a secret you can't keep in
I'm not the way I was
I'm not the way I was

Were you freed within, did you leave your skin? Are you tethered in your doubt?
Have you breathed it in 'til it's medicine that you cannot live without?
'Cause you came back home a fuckin' alien and we're stuck here on the ground
Call your mom back, kid, before the high comes down

'Cause you forgot black heels in the summertime
Dirt road smoking on a Friday night
Honey, now you got a look that I don't recognize
You pulled me aside and you said

To know me is to hate me
Is to hate what I've become
It's to watch me as I'm fallin'
From that ladder's last rung
It's to feel it like a secret you can't keep in
I'm not the way I was
I'm not the way I was
But to feel it, to see it
The look in all their eyes
Is to breathe in, to be in
The good grace of that Godlight
It's to have it in your hands
The one thing you wanted all your life
It's all mine

It's a hole I can't fill
It's a curse I can't break
And I gave my soul to it
And I cannot be reclaimed
I was younger then
I was younger then
I was young

To know me is to hate me
Is to hate what I've become
It's to watch me as I'm fallin'
From that ladder's last rung
It's to feel it like a secret you can't keep in
I'm not the way I was
I'm not the way I was
But to feel it, to see it
To look in all their eyes
Is to breathe in, to be in
The good grace of that Godlight
It's to have it in your hands
The one thing you wanted all your life
It's all mine

And to feel it, to see it
The look in all your eyes
Is to breathe in, to be in
The good grace of this Godlight
It's to have it in your hands
The one thing I wanted all my life
It's all mine