Still Can't Breathe

I never know who's really there for me
Is it plain sight or is it insecurities
All these breathing methods, I still couldn't breathe
I felt all alone in this world mentally
And I know I didn't tell you about my baby on the way
But I had in my mind when I see you I'll say
You said the first time you saw him was his birthday
Bro I'm still grateful you even came to his birthday
Cos man was invited they didn't roll
But that's how it goes
I'm not gonna say names if you know, you know
I've been high I've been low
I've held on I've let go
Tried to breathe through the nose and I still couldn't cope
My head above the water barely
I used to think about not being there it would tear me
I'm a private man g
So if I don't tell you something I'm still learning to
So spare me
To be honest you found out in the end
When I first heard your verse I thought it was a send
But there goes my insecurities again
Entitlements as friends
Then I learned a lot of my problems are all in my head
Tough times create strong men
When you're going through the madness you can't count to 10
I said these tough times create strong men
So when you go through the madness you learn you don't want to go through it again
Yo this life's so crazy
Death comes in 3s
I lost grandma, lost Ezra then I lost KieKie
So I'm sending prayers for Riaz, Phoenix and Amari
I ask God to help me leave my mark before I leave
I can't let this tough time defeat me
I remember buying JVCS
Or Skull Candies
Then I banged ACS and I deets some Beats
Now I'm having a hard time to try pay for these beats
I can't laugh and keke with these neeks
I'm still tryna understand I'm the company I keep
I got baptised the other week
I came out the water I felt free
I'm still finding it hard to turn the other cheek
This life is a mystery you can't get complacent
I'm not used to getting love from all these strangers
I think it comes with favours
This peace of mind helps me stay rich
I can't let these negative thoughts in and pollute it
So don't cuss me for going distant cos who don't
I even tried something I said I wouldn't and that was smoke
I even thought about locking it all off with a rope
Then I said nah that's something I don't condone
So if this my last rose
If this my last rose then it's got to be golden
My son's the chosen one I feel it when I hold him
It was me who gave him life so if he's breathing then I'm coping