PARENTS HAVE FEARS

KS
Yo
I'm sorry for the times I didn't listen
I'm sorry for the times you came back to the crib it was a mess and you asked who did it
Everyone said it wasn't me
Then we'll tidy
Cos you said you wouldn't cook if that house isn't clean
I'm sorry I didn't come to you with my depression in my teens
But I felt you didn't have the answer for me
Same way Shaq's talking to Dean
But differently
I put my pain on a beat
It started off as therapy
You met my wants and my needs
But missed your wants and your needs
It made you incomplete to a degree
You're chasing your dreams now and I'm happy to see
I pray that God guides you with your home nursery
Put your all in it mum
It ain't gonna easy but it's gonna be worth it mum
Know the God you're serving mum
Discovering your purpose mum
A loving and nurturing mum
Proud of the woman you're about to become
Never had a perfect childhood cos who does
But I know most parents had to grow up way too fast
They haven't dealt with their past
And the saddest thing is sometimes they take it out on us
There's a thin line between discipline and love
I wonder why my dad ain't married you
And I know deep down you wanna get married too
As a result I haven't had a blue print of what marriage is so I had to change my point of view
Before I got too comfortable
Bare questions that won't get answered
And I got bare questions I got for my father
I don't know where to get started
But I just want you to stop drinking before you end up in a casket
I wonder what you're running from
You taught me morals and right and wrong
Taught me to stand my ground, fight and be strong
I hate it when you're wrong and strong
I hate you don't apologise and we
just move on
I hate that we don't have a bond
Cos it's like you're there but you're not
Feeling my tears drop
As I record this song
Honouring your parents is a commandment of God
But it's hard to honour when you feel your ground isn't common
I feel selfish for asking for more when all you've given me
A place to live and meals to eat
It's crazy you still have time for Amari
Your first grand child and extra heart beat
I think I want you to say you're proud of me
And show me you're human most importantly
Cos 25 years I haven't seen a tear leave
And Shaq's counting 27
Same thing that probably led to his suppression
And depression
Am I less of a man cos I cry more
Is it mad that the same people I live for I'll die for
I think I speak for all of us, to say that if you gave us a push it would make us strive more
And try more
A few things I'm taking off my chest
Regardless I'm grateful cos some of my brothers are fatherless
Searching for their father's love like a quest
Hoping that their mask can hide away their neglect
It's ments
When I'm surrounded by these bottles it's a test
But from today on I'm no longer touching a bottle again
Regardless of the occasion
It's my 25th it's a celebration
Shouldn't feel like it's raining
I've watched you for years and it's paining
People have watched you for years without saying a thing
Probably thinking that's just David
Tell me you love me so I can have that moment and save it
Have it in my heart and place it
Cos when you don't tell your sons you love them it's dangerous
Tell me you love me so i can have that moment and save it
Have it in my heart and place it
Cos when you don't tell your sons you love them it's dangerous
It's dangerous
KS