Day in the Life

My nigga, do you have a gas can?
(The fuck I'm gonna do with a gas can, nah
Nigga what?)
It's just been a long ass day, man
All I need is a gas can
(Na, try down across the street, I
Think that nigga keep one, i don't know)
I'm finna head over there and
I'mma be right back
(Fuck what you doing, man?
Knocking on the door extra hard and shit
Like you just stressed out or something)
My nigga, I don't even know where to begin
Dog (What happened, man?)

Look, I woke up this
Morning feeling fucked up
What else is new? Like God be like
"To hell with you" to tell the truth
I ain't been to church in like three or fo'
Years, not months, have mercy on my soul
Threw on the wife-beater
Put a fitted on my skull
Took a long ass piss
Grabbed my shades and hit the door
I had half a blunt left from last night
I lit that bitch up like
A lightbulb and got right
Started to orchestrate my day like a maestro
I should hit the lab
I got verses like the Bible
I heard hip hop need revival
It's been camouflaged like the
Mascot for Geico
In that bullshit, I took another pull quick
My mind flooded like a
Fucking swimming pool is
Went back in the house
Raided my mom's refrigerator
But everybody's on a diet and
My stomach ain't quiet i said, "Fuck it"
Hit the shower like a jackpot
The weed got my teeth
Off-white like crack rock
Toothbrush from the 99 cent store
I got a million dollar smile
It don't make sense though
Threw on my army fatigue shorts and a
T that say "Peace Not War"
Now everybody eyeing me
I don't know if I need an
Iron or it's the irony
And by the way, I'm at the gas station now
But not to get gas
Just another black and mild
Shit this half a half a tank
Gon' have to last until Monday
And it's Tuesday
The bitches still want me like a bouquet
I hit my nigga Agent
He want to roll up two Ls like Cool J
I'm like, "Alright, cool, Jay"
But I gotta be at work by 3, it's midday
I can't go in smelling like weed, he said
"Okay" stop by the cheap tobacco store
Two swishers for a dollar
And when he meet me, we finna get high
Like a greeting
He told me, "Drop five", I said
"I got you next time" long story short
I bumped my head on cloud nine
And I'm chilly chill even
When it's hot outside
Rode to the studio rather blasted
I spit like a dragon that'll
Leave a fan flabbergasted
That's when my gas and my check engine light
Clicked on at the same exact
Time I signal right
And that ain't right, I got shit to do today
Cause any day you could
Be attending my eulogy
Got to the studio when everybody left
I saw a note that read
"We went to go work on Detox with Weezy F"

My fault nigga, i actually came up with the
Idea to write that
(You laughin' but that shit
Ain't funny man) it was funny at first but

A day in the life
Of mister soul brother number deuce
Damn he nice i'm thinking if you only knew
You could fuck with it or middle
Fingers up to your whole crew
Tell 'em the regular nigga said
It and that it a day in the life
Of mister soul brother number deuce
Damn he nice i'm thinking if you only knew
You could fuck with it or middle
Fingers up to your whole crew

Now it's 2: 58 and I'm
Running late for work
Running meanin' stuck in traffic cause the
Home Depot is finna jerk
I been in the same position before
Manager said it better be my last time
But it won't i clocked in around 3: 10
And I'm wishing I didn't
Cause UPS just brought in
This big ass shipment
And for those that don't know
I work at a record store
And I make hot records
(That's a sick ass gimmick)
Finished the inventory then I
Logged on Myspace
I had one download and 'bout 16 plays
5 friend requests from sucka
MCs making a name
I signed out and had to question my aim
(You weak nigga, that's all)
This old-timer walked in and we got to
Talking about Eric B and Rakim
And the perm on Al Sharpton
Osama bin Laden, Obama in the office
And he looked me in my face
And said I'm destined for fame
Told him I do music, he
Like, "Whatever you do, do it
And don't blink, the moment
You close your eyes, you'll lose it"
Word to wise, that was some great advice
That I took like I stole it
Then my head sort of swollen
I guess that's why I shit's on
'em like a cleansed colon
Told the rest of the shoppers
We finna be closing
I locked up like Akon and hit the street
It's 8 PM, and I ain't had shit to eat
All day, KFC, snackers a dollar each
Bar-b-que and nacho cheese
I bought 4, ate 3, gave one to Top Dawg
I would've had one for Punch but
He moved like a sloth
I'm back at the studio now if I lost ya
And everything's straight
You can thank great posture
Hit my lil momma up cause I'm trying to cut
But she on the rag and
I don't mean a bandanna
She told me come through
She gave me head like Rihanna
And I deserve a standing
Ovation for my swagger chuck the deuce
Headed for the car to finish
Off the night right but it wouldn't start
Laugh it up nigga, laugh it up man
Shit ain't funny man
That's why I need that damn gas can
(Gas, nigga
You gotta put 5 dollars not 3 in)
Shit nigga I ain't got 5 dollars to put in!
(That'll get you one gallon, nigga)
Whatever man, bullshit dog, keep laughin'
(Tryin' to save that extra
Dollar for that menu
For the McDonalds menu nigga ain't
Gotta cut all the time
Nigga you gotta put the whole 5 in it)
You gon' shoot me 5
Or what? Fuckin' bastard
(I know you're on a budget, but damn)