Make A Sex Noise

Now ladies and gentlemen
We don't normally do this
But just because this is Saint Patrick’s Day
This is our special Saint
Patrick's Day program
And I even wear a green shirt and
Everything we wanna try and work
A little bit of
Well let's just say Home Grown
Irish Flavor into this
Program now bring the band on
Down behind me boys, this is
Really quite technical you understand that
Each ethnic group has characteristics
And these characteristics are
Generally made fun of by other ethnic
Groups now I happen to feel
That the Irish people in this country
Have gotten a "bum rap
" to use a common expression many
People feel that Irish people in
America simply aren’t sexy now in order
To dispel the ethnic myth
That people of the Irish persuasion
Are not particularly sexy
We are going to make it
Possible for volunteers from the
Audience tonight to demonstrate just how
Hot they are now what I would like to have
I would like to have at least four girls who
Think they are Irish to come up here
No, they have, no, no, no, they have to be
Volunteers, you have to volunteer for this
It can't
Be under duress i, no, let me explain
This is very scientific, we need two more
Okay heh, you all think you're Irish, right?
OK, ok now listen, quiet please
This is very very scientific that's
Right in order to
Prove that you are genuinely hot we're going
To give you, each and every one
An opportunity to make a sex noise
With musical accompaniment and so:

Make a sex noise! (Say)
Make a sex noise! Make a sex noise!
Make a sex noise! Make a sex noise!
Make a sex noise!

Now, I'm not sure that each
And everyone of these contestants
Is truly Irish in the biblical
Sense of the word
But I think we have to give them credit for
Coming up here and representing
The Irish people in
Binghamton tonight especially when
You realize that that's about the
Only form of safe sex left in America
Ike: Hah hah hah!