The Son

i’m in denial,
comes in waves, tidal,
i am not vital,
no i am not vital,

i do not matter,
stuck in a room with the mad hatter,
he tells me my life is a lie,
and my monsters are me, who am i?

feeling like i need to meditate, motivate, elevate,
i want to wipe the slate,
renegade in my own mind,
try to get out, trying to hide,

build a facade,
no one will know,
smile on my face,
won’t let it show,
violent thoughts,
violent flow,
island, boat,
don’t know how to row though,

i’m twisting what i want to say,
what do you see on my face?
i’m the son of my mistakes,
i’m the son of my mistakes,

i have always felt so fake,
time for me to wipe the slate,
i’m the son of my mistakes,
i’m the son of my mistakes.

i close my eyes,
when i wanna die,
i realise,
that i cannot try,
i need a lifeline,
i need a lifeline.

what i put up,
is not what’s inside,
i need to lie,
i need to hide,
violent mind,
behind my eyes,
violent cries,
where do i hide?

don’t forget me when i leave,
i don’t know who i want to be,
i’ve been wrong too long,
i’ve been wrong too long,
i’ve been wrong too long, long, long.

i’m twisting what i want to say,
what do you see on my face?
i’m the son of my mistakes,
i’m the son of my mistakes,

i have always felt so fake,
time for me to wipe the slate,
i’m the son of my mistakes,
i’m the son of my mistakes.

i do not know if i should elaborate,
tell me what feelings my face gives away,
i’m only human, i know i can break,
don’t want to do this, i don’t want to say,

what i am feeling, it’s fine, i’m okay,
i cannot trust what i cannot face,
i do not trust what everyone says,
hide my emotions, hide my mistakes,

flaws on my sleeves, i’m on my knees,
i cannot breathe, why do we bleed?
why do we need to be believed,
why can’t i leave? why can’t i leave?

lack of respect,
lack of a cheque,
“you’ve got potential,
but you’re not the best,
you need a rental,
you need a bed”
i need some sleep,
i need some rest,

“you made your bed, now lay in it,
you wish you were dead? don’t play with it,
we wish you were dead, we’re at the limit,
you’re a pain in the neck, won’t stay with you.”

don’t forget me when i leave,
i don’t know who i want to be,
i’ve been wrong too long,
i’ve been wrong too long,
i’ve been wrong too long, long, long.

“you made your bed, now lay in it.”