Refraction (feat. .Donavan.)

I don't wanna see it through a lens
Even though I know I'm on the fence
I don't think I'll ever make amends
Now I'm terrified of making friends

I just wanna see in person
I need something to immerse in
I was the life of the party
How the fuck can I be nervous

I think I'm used to division, I miss when they used to listen
I don't feel shit when I lose what I'm missin
I got a scope it's my view cause I'm distant
I used to be different but

Now I'm out here on the low
I was out there on the high
Now I never wanna talk
I just wanna stay inside

I've been scratching every shot and I don't think I got a cue
I feel like colonel mustard I don't wanna ketchup I don't wanna clue

All my life I've been a burden to everyone that used to care about me til they left
Even if I wanna talk to you I won't respond to you I can tell that shit will bother you

I know it does, I've been on the other side of it I'm losin sight of it all
Went to parties for your validation even though I knew I couldn't find it at all

I didn't get the verdict I was introverted til it hit the surface
Now I can't get a word in I don't miss the drinkin I just miss the person

Why can't I be who I was
I won't try I do too much
I'm not someone you can trust
I miss when I was

I don't wanna see it through a lens
Even though I know I'm on the fence
I don't think I'll ever make amends
Now I'm terrified of making friends

I just wanna see in person
I need something to immerse in
I was the life of the party
How the fuck can I be nervous

I think I'm used to division, I miss when they used to listen
I don't feel shit when I lose what I'm missin
I got a scope it's my view cause I'm distant
I used to be different but

Now I'm out here on the low
I was out there on the high
Now I never wanna talk
I just wanna stay inside

Part of me hates it, I wasn't gon' say shit
But honestly I'm too jaded to get faded no more
Fuck all the pride, I kept it inside
Now I'm tired crashing the shore

Do I pour? Hardly
I'd rather stay off the floor
And now the life of the party
Can't make it to the door

Can you tell me how somebody supposed to stay on mission
When they look up the mirror and they come up missin

I don't think you get the message
This is a cry for help, not a confession
Been this way since adolescence
Now I just stare in the eye of the tempest whenever I ask this question

Why can't I be who I was
I won't try I do too much
I'm not someone you can trust
I miss when I was

I don't wanna see it through a lens
Even though I know I'm on the fence
I don't think I'll ever make amends
Now I'm terrified of making friends

I just wanna see in person
I need something to immerse in
I was the life of the party
How the fuck can I be nervous

I think I'm used to division, I miss when they used to listen
I don't feel shit when I lose what I'm missin
I got a scope it's my view cause I'm distant
I used to be different but

Now I'm out here on the low
I was out there on the high
Now I never wanna talk
I just wanna stay inside