This Year for Presidents' Day, I'm Giving Up on Rock and Roll

i was gonna die alone, i know
i was gonna die before thirty years old
i've got this notion that successful careers are evil
so finally, for the holidays
a gift is coming all ya'll's ways
my family will be excited when they look under the president's day tree
to see a box shrink wrapped in real gold, not paper gold
it's a fucking box filled to the top with fucking gold
hey, mom! i got a job! i'm not wasting my potential!
hey, all my friends! you won't have to hear about "blah blah band"
who "just got a new prevost bus and forgot my name and he used to open for us"
it's getting old i know
that's why i'm giving up on rock and roll.

we'll celebrate in my new pad
i'm flying you out, mom and dad
i've just got a new job and a forty-inch plasma
now without music, i can concentrate on sitting down and charging by the hour
to sell ideas to an asshole who wants to sell a car
i've upgraded from my childhood bedroom to southern cali southern california
and everyone here is always smiling
hey, dad! i sold the van and used the money to invest!
i'm buying stocks and climbing ladders! i'm all business!
YES SIR! RIGHT SIR! COMING SIR!
your documents are in order
you're fucking proud, i know
thank bush/cheney '04
i've given up on rock and roll

we'll drink delirium not pabst
not all my parents
we're at my brand new apt.
(that stands for apartment)