They Just Don't Have It

Sometimes they just don't have it
Teetering on cycles and they trying to find their balance
Falling down the rabbit hole trying to escape Alice
Searching for deliverance in habits
Til they realizes it's never the king who builds the palace
Sometimes they just don't have it in em'
Sometimes they just don't have it
Sometimes they just don't have it in em'
Hurt people birth people
Hurting breeds the worst people
Bruised egos hurting from the home to the church steeple
My blood it breaks my heart
To understand you gotta go back to the start
Child shit my sisters and I didn't get along
Ironic my parents growing apart started our bond
The only ones who knew the - going on
Your siblings will be all you got when everybody's gone
If we searched for validation about the situation
It's salutations to our reputation
My family hates confrontation so fronting's our favorite
No role models so our own roads we paved them
Cries and a lot of praying
But nothing was for certain
Said my dad was lashing out because of the long hours he was working
Looking back now that man was really hurting
Wish our level of communication went below the surface
Wish he knew to be loved you didn't need to be perfect
Wish I knew that too
To different cities I flew
With the sole objective of hearing him say "I'm so proud of you"
Damn who knew
Sometimes they just don't have it
Teetering on cycles and he's tryna find his balance
Falling down the rabbit hole trying to escape Alice
Searching for deliverance in habits
Til he realizes it's never the king who builds the palace
Sometimes they just don't have it in em'
Sometimes they just don't have it
Sometimes they just don't have it in em'
Sometimes
If anyone knew it would be my cousins
Akin to the same type of toxic loving
We were all running
In different directions searching for new forms of affection
How quickly those turned to different addictions
When the pain is too much you got no choice but to numb
And with no example you make your own version of love
The deprecation that comes with that, it's so dangerous
My sister's falling into the same toxic shit its heartbreaking
I'm feeling like her thoughts vacant
People saying they love me but I'm feeling like they all faking
Wish Father Time would stop taking
Looking around me I'm beyond anxious
People hanging themselves from my family tree
But my trauma fans just pay to see
Wish they'd view the bigger picture that they take of me
Wish they could see the hurt that I truly bleed
Sometimes I just don't have it
Teetering on cycles and I'm trying to find my balance
Falling down the rabbit hole trying to escape Alice
Searching for deliverance in habits
Til I realize it's never the king who builds the palace
Sometimes I just don't have it in me
Sometimes I just don't have it
Sometimes I just don't have it in me
Grandpa has dementia praying he dont forget how to smile
Dad broke up with my stepmom I
haven't seen her in awhile
Stepbrothers growing up fast, shit is so wild
Ask me what day it is, at this point hell if I know
My uncle just got married and I know he's on some grateful shit
My other uncle getting buried under childlike hateful shit
My Grandpa can't speak for himself damn that's some painful shit
My dad won't go to therapy although he's really needing it
Why my fam always compete and shit
Turning on eachother we just need some peace
So much of this could've been avoided if we just loved when we were needing it
We could break the toxic cycle but instead we just repeating it
We got the same blood in our veins
Why we spill it
You know what they say "raise a child need a village"
Grace has been pillaged and we need to reveal it
Stop criticizing the cries together we feel it
And heal it
Cuz sometimes we just don't have it
Some of that mom and dad shit
Some go and grab shit
Sometimes we just don't have it
So we blame anyone about it
Want them to solve everything about us
Shit we were never taught the power of forgiveness
That one word's been left out of all of this shit
Man, we are so vicious
We are straight whack
Baggage in way back
I barely talk to some of y'all unless I'm home and I hate that
We were brought up with payback on our placemats
Tension in the air and I taste that
Responsibility we need to take that
Cuz It's okay to be mad it's not okay to stay mad