Cereal Wars

Get up early in the morning, going to the store
Post, Kellogs, General Mills, it's the cereal war
Fuckin' store never has the monsters and they never get more
Post, Kellogs, General Mills, it's the cereal war

I hope sexual chocolate is in stock
It's got a condom in the box
I'll try some cocoa puffs today
What the fuck is Sonny anyway?

Some say Dino's are the best
They've got more marshmallows than the rest
There's not a lot of cocoa in cocoa crispies
And always stay away from wheaties

Now it's dinner time and I am going back to the store
I had some Erkles, liked 'em a lot, it's the cereal war
I wish I were Calvin or Hobbes and then I could try sugar bombs
The soggies will never get CapnCrunch

I guess I'll have Crunch Berries for lunch
Breakfast cereals need to be sweet, that's the only kind I'll eat
Give me sugar not nuts and twigs
Do I look like a fuckin' squirrel to you?