fed up with myself

Right now
Right now
Yuh yuh
Ugh
It's Z
I been so fed up with myself it's like I have no thoughts
Just sitting in my room rotting away while in the dark
Mind empty time plenty so I'm feeling lost
The devil tempt me, he can't get me I give it up to God
Sometimes I don't wanna be bothered
No, I don't feel like talking
You make me wanna do you like Chris Rock at the Oscar's
Letting God use me as a vessel
Yes, Imma profit
Don't give me that nonsense
I'm spreading love like cancer can't no remedy solve it
Getting older so I'm really evolving
Taking trips I'm trapped right in my deep conscious
Whether it's active or inert it's deadly
Burdens heavy
Paying a levy
I take all the pain that's in my heart and put it to a medley
Don't you judge me
Yeah, that's just the way I cope
I could've easily been the one that was sipping drank and smoking dope but I said no
It's too common in our culture we gotta change or we won't grow
And once you falling down that hole ain't nobody gon give you rope
It's an epidemic of addiction
The ways you spin it
In the hood where money tight
But for these drugs you gon spend it
Think just for a minute
Trust me, yes I know it's hard we living
Even though they set us up for failure, must outsmart the system
I'm tryna live with the guilt of my past decisions
Baggage given
Acting different
Pure intentions
Seeking penance
I lock my soul in chains wondering will I be forgiven
Need some healing
God is within
I know His mercy He's giving
This allergy season got me
Got me really thinking
How I be struggling to be breathing
If I don't swim up then I'm sinking, I mean
That's just my daily battle
Life's a rollercoaster saddle
Snakes backstabbing hear the rattle
Just keep swimming steady paddle
Like I'm finding Dory yeah
Tell me where you find your peace
I keep looking all these places
But it's still escaping me
Can I breathe?
Uh, wait, huh
I'm starting to overthink
I just wanna be all the things that I know I see
Can't accept defeat
What they mean?
What you want from me?
What's your policy?
Why you hide within these fallacies?
All these evil things that you bring won't disrupt my dreams
Spirits calling me, telling me
I just wan be free
I been so fed up with myself it's like I think too much
I'm running in circles, running in loops because my mind won't shut
He all in my ear, the devil be steady telling me that I need to give up
But my energy too pure and delicate
No you cannot touch
God told me himself
Mhm mhm mhm
Mhm