Early Morning Zen

I stay in a room, so late
Till it's early, till the sun shines in
In the window, through the glass, light bends
Like widow, all alone, no friends
On the meadow, where my mind reaches
Where it puts me in a dangerous mess
I just lay there, just wait for the end
Till the end comes, now I don't wanna attend
It's a trend, a repetitive cycle
I cast myself to a solitary isle
Clouds so grim, at the world's blank rim
Water so gray, and I just jump in
Sink down to the bed like a fish, no fin
When a storm comes, I don't feel that wind
I kinda like it, but I never know why
Don't fight it, never been a tough guy
Keep hiding, lose track of my spine
No guidance, never got in a line
I'm a calm guy, consistently shy
But I do try, be a little more mean

Getting the respect, no messing with me
Try and be a little happy, live heavenly
But what is heaven? Never seen
I ain't too religious, and I'm never gonna be
Praying is begging, won't ever see me on my knees
Anything I get I put the credit on me
Do I believe? I don't know
I think there's a lot more than what's below
The sky above, only hoping though
I'm rowing through a river, blue
Counting daisies on the bank
And one day I'll be pushing them too
Will it be soon? Can never tell
I'll sit it out, long days, crammed in a cell
Dust makes a haze, silence, a craze
Yet I remain in this very quiet place
And if the dust settles, though I know it won't ever
I could maybe then finally, get out of my ways