Alone

I took a walk through the parking lot of your housing development. Boarded up and black. So now I roam. It’s not like I’m falling apart. Don’t you dare worry for me. Why on earth would you start now? A solitary flower pot on your front porch . It grows and grows and grows. I’ve never felt quite so alone. Don’t waste your sleep on me. I could never live with myself. I wouldn’t know where to start. I know you hate how much I love you, but there’s no other one. I could never take how much you hated me, I vow to die alone. I did some talking to God. We spoke of the flowers of forgiveness, until the sidewalk swallowed me whole. It’s all uphill from here. Day by precious day, I build up a tolerance to dirt in my mouth and concrete in my heart. This is what it’s like to be alone