We Won The Talent Show

Got a Ph. D. in rock and roll!
Got an Honorary Doctorate in never gettin' old!
My day job is stayin' up all night!
My hobby is bein' impolite!
My memory is my guitar!
My friends are all my seven cars!
I've done home runs with all my aunts!
I've never had a menstrual cramp!

But, yeah, life's so great!
We made lots of dough!
We sleep all day!
'Cause we won the talent show!

Got a G.E.D. in bein' mean!
Lookin' at my horse and makin' it rain!
My Bachelor's in breakin' stuff!
My Associate's in talkin' tough!
I've never had to change my pants!
I've never moisturized my hands!
I put in not in 101!
I went on a mountain in Vermont!

Thank you, little people! We're not gonna stay and mingle!
Good night!