Bad Things Are Bad

I never thought this is how I would go
Here under the pier tied to Mr. Fischoeder
But looks like Linda will be a widow
Oh, bad things are bad

I fear that my Bob's in a terrible place
Maybe you'll find him inside of this vase
Maybe a lion is eating his face?
Oh, bad things are bad

Maybe your dad was tied up by a sailor?
I'll help you look after I pump this inhaler
Check out my pants, they are perfectly tailored

Oh, yeah, nice
Thanks
Oh, bad things are bad

Oh, I wish that Bob would come back
I could really use a big snack
Okay, it's not a burger
But I'll just pretend it is and maybe cry

I did what I had to, I have no regrets
I murdered my brother for power and sex
What's this weird feeling inside of my chest?

Why do you keep not looking at my breasts?
Oh, bad things are bad

Farewell, cruel world, looks like I'll die alone
If only you'd purchased a better cell phone
And now I'll never know who wins Game of Thrones

Oh, things are bad!