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I'm a smash at cocktail parties
I keep falling on my face
I can't decide which side my heart is
I'm such a damn disgrace
Can't take me anyplace
[can't read the menu]
Can't take me anyplace
[except in French]
Can't take me anyplace
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I reinvent behaving badly
I'm extremely commonplace
Although you know I love me madly
I disturb the populace
Can't take me anyplace
Can't take me anyplace
Can't take me anyplace
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I'm a subject of contrariety
It's my delicious carapace
But idle gossip never bothered me
I'm the very worst of taste
Can't take me anyplace
Can't take me anyplace
Can't take me anyplace
Can't take me anyplace