I Can Be Afraid of Anything

I’m carrying a heavy bucket back from the well
Trembling hands and losing water, losing my will
When we got home, nothing was left but knots in the lease
Now I’m heading west or someplace far from the east

Cortisol and serotonin, stable’s a thrill
Anhedonia at the surface. Here, I’m in hell
I’m carrying this empty bucket, I wanna empty myself
Because, everything is getting rid of everything else

Pacing parking lots, ignored
We are the same, but opposed
Something else is supposed to happen
(It felt easy before I left)
You aren’t having a good time anymore
(Left in dust to carry myself)

I really did dig my own hole, and I’m climbing out
I really did dig my own hole, but I can see the top
I’m climbing out
I really did dig my own hole. I’m climbing out

You can smell life here, what we call life above the ground
Hands stained dirty, but there is water to wash them out
Being this age always seemed so far away
How is life here, can we bring our trash outside the house?

(What we call life above the ground, left in dust
Left in dust to carry myself out)
To carry myself out