The Devil In My Bloodstream

We wiped out all the Buffalo
Around the turn of the last century
And so it's factories and sawgrass
Wheat fields and asphalt laid in front of me
The Midwest feels like a hollow place
That we filled with love and industry
And we're staring at the frozen ground in Goodwill suits
Silent as the pastor reads the eulogy
Well I wanted to see just a little bit of everything
Let me be

Two blackbirds on a highway sign
Are laughing at me at four in the morning
They played the war drum out of time
So I'm not sure where I've been marching
I wanna be strong, but it's not easy anymore
I'm hoping I'm wrong

It's sixteen hours straight to home
From the heart of North Missouri
And so I searched through my great-grandpop's memoirs
For the devil in my bloodstream
Depression grabbed his throat
And choked the life out of him slowly
I've got the same blood coursing through my veins
And it'll come for me eventually

I bet I'd be a fucking coward
I bet I'd never have the guts for war
'Cause I can't spend another month away from here
These frantic rest stop phone calls don't get answered anymore
But I, I wanted to know if I could please come home
So let me know

Two blackbirds on a highway sign
Are laughing at me at four in the morning
They played the war drum out of time
So I'm not sure where I've been marching
I wanna be strong, but it's not easy anymore
I'm hoping I'm wrong
I'm hoping I'm wrong

I know how it feels to be
At war with a world
That never loved me

I'm hoping I'm wrong

I know how it feels to be
At war with a world
That never loved me

Two blackbirds on a highway sign
Are laughing at me at four in the morning
They played the war drum out of time
So I'm not sure where I've been marching

I wanna be strong
I wanna be strong, but it's not easy anymore