Corn Liquor

[Intro: Andy Bean]
Friends, has anyone tried the moonshine yet?

[Verse 1: Andy Bean and Fuller Condon]
Whole wheat and potatoes
Have long been friends to man
They gave the Ruskies vodka (I feel funny) (It's okay)
And the British their beloved gin

[Verse 2: Andy Bean]
But when the fire comes down from Heaven (Ouch)
And the oceans, they do burst
I'll be sippin', corn liquor
To satisfy my holy thirst
Two-three-

[Chorus: Both and Both plus Audience]
'Cuz the world's most versatile green
Ferments into somethin' mean
Corn liquor (God damn!)
Let Heaven take the sober man

[Verse 3: Andy Bean and Both]
Oh, sugarcane and molasses
Have-a made many people smile
They gave rum to Jamaica
And it seems to have lasted them a while

[Verse 4: Andy Bean, Both, and Both plus Audience]
But if it comes to the day of judgement
And I hear the good Lord's voice
I'll be sippin, corn liquor (God damn!)
Awaitin' the Almighty's choice

[Chorus: Both and Both plus Audience]
'Cuz the world's most versatile green
Ferments into somethin' mean
Corn liquor (God damn!)
Suck on some corn while you can
Corn liquor (God damn!)
Let Heaven take the sober man

[Instrumental Break]

[Skit: Andy Bean, Fuller Condon, and Both]
Friend, I challenge you to a singing contest in front of all these people, do you accept?
I accept your contest
I think uh, in the interest of time maybe just we'll judge on endurance tonight
Do you accept, my c- my terms?
I accept your terms of your contest (Okay)

'Cuz the world's most versatile green
Ferments into somethin'-

AUDIENCE MEMBER: Mean

This is the contest between me and my friend
But thank you (And yeah, that was a false start, too) (Yeah)
Mean (Mean)

'Cuz the world's most versatile green
Ferments into somethin'
Meeeeeeeeeeean
ANDY BEAN!

[Chorus: Both, Andy Bean, and Both plus Audience]
Corn liquor (God damn!)
Suck on some corn while you can
Corn liquor (God damn!)
Let Heaven take the sober man
Fancy beer!
Suck on some corn while you can
Corn liquor (God damn!)
Let Heaven take the sober-