Ukelele Poo Poo Platter

[Verse 1: Poach]
Man I used to be cool as shit
The type of cat that only came to school to swoop on chicks
Cause everytime I came around they started losing it
The tightest round, I remove the screws, cement and loosen it
Who's the shit?
I was, at least so that I thought
Man, I broke so many hearts that I made it an art
And kept on playin the part of that
Underweight, heavyweight, lover with a runaway spirit
Spare the drama like a riddle, hot as sausage on the griddle
Stroke my fiddle in the middle like the climax of an organ stroke (89)
Had the tightest little course I've come with that slump
A crypto skunk, a fake ID, I drove it drunk
I wrapped the pole, a random pose

[Hook 1]
Oh man, they threw me in the tank and this is how the song be
It goes 1 shot, 2 shots, 3 shots of recipe
My life is like a ukelele poo-poo platter (Go poo-poo, go poo-poo)
My mind is like a ukulele poo-poo platter (Go poo-poo)
My mouth is like a ukulele poo-poo platter (Go poo-poo)
Yes, I live it like a ukulele poo-poo platter (Go poo-poo, go poo-poo)
Go

[Verse 2]
Now my favorite position for women was always givin' some head
Second runner-up was usually put her grill in the bed
Consensus of parents 9 out of 10 was wanting me dead
Didn't like the thought of their daughter swallowing Hen
But little did they know, hell less did I care
The precious little Betty was giving everybody a share
From clubs and college fraternities, thugs and ballers, alcoholics
Anonymous all had her 'round their collars
Pretty soon she gulped and guzzled it down for the dollar
And to add a little friendship, there go the sound of drama
And the more dollars they gave, the harder it was for her to cum
And I'm sad to say I was there for everyone
Yeah, I did it, not to say that I did it
I was committed to the way she licked her lips

[Hook 2]
Man she had me in a panic, this is how the song turns
It goes herpes, syphilis, gonorrhea burns
My life is like a ukelele poo-poo platter (Go poo-poo, go poo-poo)
My mind is like a ukulele poo-poo platter (Go poo-poo)
My mouth is like a ukulele poo-poo platter (Go poo-poo)
Yes, I live it like a ukulele poo-poo platter
Okay now everybody listen up
Here's the social commentary part of the song

[Verse 3]
I seen you slap your wife, I've seen you beat your kids
I seen you actin' just like your deadbeat daddy did
Nobody wants to tell ya, but I'mma fuckin tell ya
Your family wants to leave, and I'mma fuckin help em
Take this from your dawg, friend and your confidant
You got a problem with drugs and violence, alcohol
Nobody wants to tell ya, but I'mma fuckin tell ya
Your brother wants to leave this for me to fuckin help ya
And when I'mma help em out, shit I'mma bang your wife
And I'mma be a father to your kids like you just died
And you won't say a word, cause you'll be in the clinic
Shakin' like a nervous kitten twitchin' from addiction
And by the time you're out, shit we'll be down south
Livin' in the house on the river, fishin trout

[Hook]
My life is like a ukelele poo-poo platter (Go poo-poo, go poo-poo)
My mind is like a ukulele poo-poo platter (Go poo-poo)
My mouth is like a ukulele poo-poo platter
Go poo-poo, go poo-poo, go