Ten Don’ts For Honeymooners

Don't ski naked down Mt. Everest
With lilies up your nose
Don't punt up the Ganges in a vest
And holler 'Thar she blows'

Don't fish for tunny in Meat Madras
With blotting pads as bait
Don't converse with shrimps of higher class
About the church and state

I'd play hoopla with Saturn's rings
I'd tie a knot in Errol Flynn's
Sing, yi yi yip, yip yipee ying
For you

Don't dance the polka in a dhoti
And whistle the Rite of Spring
Don't recite Hamlet's soliloquy
While munching onion rings

Don't plant a stickleback in a field
On St. Augustine's Day
Don't sharpen your sword and beat your shield
And somersault up a brae

I'd juggle with Jupiter's moons
I'd flatten the Sahara's dunes
Sing, yi yi yip, yip yipee yoon
For you

Don't build a pyramid on the pole
With Frosties packets and glue
Don't serve rubber bullets in a bowl
And call it Irish Stew

Don't change all the water into wine
And walk on the Dead Sea
Never sing the Song of the Golden Rhine
With an augmented flea

I'd make a world in seven days
I'd pasteurize the Milky Way
Sing, yi yi yip, yip yipee yay

I'd play hoopla with Saturn's rings
I'd tie a knot in Errol Flynn's
Sing, yi yi yip, yip yipee ying

I'd juggle with Jupiter's moons
I'd flatten the Sahara's dunes
Sing, yi yi yip, yip yi pee yoon

I'd kick Mars into a black hole
I'd spread plum jam on Denning's rolls
Sing, yi yi yip, yip yipee yole

I'd squeeze the spots out from the sun
I'd swim the Mare Imbrium
Sing, yi yi yip, yip yipee yun

Mush a ding, toodle eye-ay
Tara diddle dyno day
Yi yi yip, yip yipee yay

Mush a ding, toodle eye-ay
Tara diddle dyno day
Yi yi yip, yip yipee yay

Mush a ding, toodle eye-ay
Tara diddle dyno day
Yi yi yip, yip yipee yay