Ashes (The Cricket Song)

Wake up early, I've got a plan
Cook the breakfast, burnt the toast
Put on my trousers and have a shave
Check the mailbox but the post hasn't come

And I'm sitting here waiting for the postman
The Cricket is on and the sun is out
I've got a busy day ahead, but I'm feeling o.k
Does it matter if I miss another day?

Enter the kitchen, put on a brew
Crack on the telly, let's see what I've missed
A wicket is gone, another one down
The team all appeal, the umpire frowns
Bumble is pissed cos' England are shit
But hawkeye didn't notice it

And I'm sitting here waiting for the postman
The Cricket is on and the sun is out
I've got a busy day ahead, but I'm feeling o.k
Does it matter if I miss another day?

The day has passed by, I'm still in this chair
Stretch my legs, put on some soup
Sixty for six and tea-time is called
Post still not here, I'm rather appalled
Spill soup on my shirt, trip on the step
"Fucking hell, that bloody hurt, twatting step"

And I'm sitting here waiting for the postman
The Cricket is on and the sun is out
I've got a busy day ahead, but I'm feeling o.k
Does it matter if I miss another day?
And I'm sitting here ankle throbbing endlessly
The post hasn't come and the sun's gone down
This days got shit, no longer do I feel o.k
Does it matter if I miss another day?