I Miss My Moms (feat. Taelor Gray)

This isn't just I'm sad
You know, there's a distance and a disconnection that
I don't have the power to change
And that's a different level of sadness

Yeah, I miss my mom's
Living off the memories
Noticing me rationing an
I notice the subtraction
Like I use up all the speed force to go back to them
That gladness came when you sang
I catch my breath by counting back from ten
I'm back again
Trapped between these waves that I've been traveling
Where grief becomes a master
It makes you face the scars on top your skin
Til that deeper pain feels natural
I couldn't have grown up faster
Wait, is this that cruel world that I'm gonna wake up to
Been asking Swoope for Wake Up 2
At times still feel like we both been dreaming
Where's that peace the Lord gonna take us to
So where's that joy that comes at morning
That long night returns me to my youth
That little boy gonna face this torment

I miss my mom's
It is well
With my soul
With my soul
It is well
I miss my mom's
With my soul
With my soul
With my soul
On and on and on
On and on and on

Think she's gone, think she's gone
I think she's gone
Was the words from my uncle's mouth
Mama went to sleep, I was asleep
At my mama's house
Care for her as she transitions
That's the reason I'm in town
I seen flying in as a privilege
To see my mama out
I knew the night before
God had told me
Seven days of completion
I had been there a whole week
On the phone with my wife but
I heard a voice from the throne speak
Right there felt the Lord's peace
Though tomorrow knew we was gone weep
I know peace
The kind of pass understanding
That don't make sense
In the moment I felt the weight lift
My mama she had been waiting
With doctor she just a patient
With God she was just patient
Doctor said in 2010 she had a year to live
But she made ten
God gave his ear to listening
When she vents with no complaining
I had to cover, mad at God
She ain't Job, she had a job
Full-time time, one raising me
Seven days a week with no labor fees

I miss my moms
On and on

Seven days plus one
That was the last time in her presence
Transition for seven
On the eighth day she rested
She was close to God in her life
Was even closer to God in her death
I breathed a sigh of relief
I had been holding my breath
I needed God to release
That cancer holding her breast
That cancer holding her stomach, brain and skin
Who knows what's next
I seen the light flash in her eyes
Right before that night passed
Auntie crying down at her feet
Praying for her to fight back

How I miss her so
More than some will ever know
That's Kirk on what you're looking for
Them words real early hit my soul
When I heard that as a kid
There's no way I could know the meaning
My mama played me that CD
I guess she knew that I need it
I didn't know what grief was
But now I know it closely
I used to have nosebleeds
Now I got floor seats up close
Personal, every single detail
So when you see me in personal know
Boy I'm just trying to grieve well
Yeah, yeah

Yeah
I grieve
For Diana
For those who passed
For Leigh-Anne
I grieve
For Sam O
For those who passed
We grieve for those in the past
Those that I grieve
For those who passed
But not without hope
Those that I grieve

And some glad morning
When this life is over
I'll fly away
And when I die
Hallelujah by and by
I'll fly away