No Place Like London (feat. Benjamin Magnuson, Dia...

Anthony:
I have sailed the world,
Beheld its wonders
From the Dardanelles
To the mountains of Peru,
But there's no place like London!
I feel home again.

I could hear the city bells
Ring whatever I would do.
No, there's no place—

Todd:
No, there's no place like London.

Anthony: [Spoken]
Mr. Todd, sir?

Todd:
You are young.
Life has been kind to you.
You will learn.

[Spoken]
It is here we go our separate ways. Farewell, Anthony, I will
not soon forget the good ship Bountiful nor the young man
who saved my life.

Anthony: [Spoken]
There's no cause to thank me, sir. It would have been a poor
Christian indeed who would have spotted you pitching and
tossing on that raft and not given the alarm.

Todd: [Spoken]
There's many a Christian would have done that and lost a wink's
sleep over it, either.

Beggar Woman:
Alms! Alms!
For a miserable woman
On a miserable chilly morning.
Thank you, sir, thank you.

‘Ow would you like a little muff, dear,
A little jig jig,
A little bounce around the bush?
Wouldn't you like to push me parsley?
It looks to me, dear,
Like you got plenty there to push.

Alms! Alms!
For a pitiful woman
Wot's got wanderin' wits...
Hey, don't I know you, mister?

Todd: [Spoken]
Must you glare at me, woman? Off with you, off I say!

Beggar Woman:
Then ‘ow would you like to
Split me muff, mister?
We'll go jig jig,
A little—

Todd: [Spoken]
Off, I said. To the devil with you!

Beggar Woman:
Alms! Alms!
For a pitiful woman...

Anthony: [Spoken]
Pardon me, sir, but there's no need to fear the likes of her.
She's just a half-crazed beggar woman. London's full of them.

Todd: [Spoken]
I beg your indulgence, boy. My mind is far from easy, for in
these once-familiar streets I feel the chill of ghostly shadows
everywhere. Forgive me.

Anthony: [Spoken]
There is nothing to forgive.

Todd: [Spoken]
Farewell, Anthony.

Anthony: [Spoken]
Mr. Todd, before we part—

Todd: [Spoken]
What is it?

Anthony: [Spoken]
I have honored my promise never to question you. Whatever
brought you to that sorry shipwreck is your affair. And yet, over
the many weeks of our voyage home, I have come to think of
you as a friend, and if trouble lies ahead in London, if you need
any help, or money...

Todd: [Spoken]
No!

[Sung]
There's a hole in the world
Like a great black pit
And the vermin of the world
Inhabit it
And its morals aren't worth
What a pig could spit
And it goes by the name of London.

At the top of the hole
Sit the privileged few,
Making mock of the vermin
In the lower zoo,
Turning beauty into filth and greed.

I too have sailed the world
And seen its wonder,
For the cruelty of men
Is as wondrous as Peru,
But there's no place like London!

There was a barber and his wife,
And she was beautiful.
A foolish barber and his wife—
She was his reason and his life,
And she was beautiful,
And she was virtuous.
And he was—
Naïve.

There was another man who saw
That she was beautiful,
A pious vulture of the law,
Who with a gesture of his claw
Removed the barber from his plate.
Then there was nothing but to wait
And she would fall,
So soft,
So young,
So lost,
And oh, so beautiful!

Anthony: [Spoken]
The lady, sir, did she succumb?

Todd:
Oh, that was many years ago...
I doubt if anyone would know.

[Spoken]
Now leave me, Anthony. There's somewhere I must go,
something I must find out. Now. And alone.

Anthony: [Spoken]
But surely we will meet again before I'm off to Plymouth!

Todd: [Spoken]
If you want, you may well find me. Around Fleet Street,
I wouldn't wonder.

[Sung]
There's a hole in the world
Like a great black pit
And it's filled with people
Who are filled with shit
And the vermin of the world
Inhabit it.