The Highway Song

Chameleon, chameleon
What's on your mind?
I've been sitting in my hot tub and I've been watching for a long, long time
Belly on the red hot cement
A foot from the [?]
Cat crouching behind you, hiding in the long blades of grass
You don't know but I'm about to find out which one of you is more fast

I'm sitting still as a turkey, hun
Don't want to fuck up this scene
The cat lunged forward
And its mouth was the green chameleon
Tail dripping out the left, head dripping out the right
A nice, succulent meal for the cat
He's gonna sleep like a baby tonight
Chameleon ain't gonna sit on no more fences
He's in the cats bowels, the cat's licking his lips
Thirst quenched
No more blending into agave plants or dried, brown dirt
Or sitting in the sun by the pool looking at the black ants

Now I'm driving down the 80 towards Sacramento
Past Vacaville, that once housed Roman Polanski and Charles Manson, you know
And now I'm driving down the 80 towards Sacramento
Capital of California and the birthplace of Diego Corrales
God rest his soul
Now I'm driving down the 80 towards South Lake Tahoe
Folsom Prison on the right
Dust devil right there in my sight
Now I'm approaching Old Hangtown, they hung bad guys there during the Gold Rush
I love Gold Rush history and all that old Western stuff

On June 2nd, 1851
James Wang was captured in Centerville, California by bounty hunter Robert Lee Himmel. Wang, wanted dead or alive for the murder of Jack H. Moldy, was brought into the town of Hangtown by Robert Lee and three of his men by stagecoach. Moldy was reportedly bludgeoned to death with miner's picks by James Wang and three other fugitives, who, according to Wang, fled to Oklahoma. Moldy had apparently slept with Julia White, the daughter of John B. White, copper tycoon of Butte, Montana. Julia White was allegedly the obsession and love interest of James Wang. Wang was hung in Hangtown on June 10th 1851 at 10:00 AM. His last words were "cut this rope, you bastards." He was pronounced dead at 10:17 AM June 10

Now I'm back on the 80, sign for Lake Berryessa
The Zodiac did a murder there, man, I'm obsessed with it
And yeah, a Hillside Strangler got married over there in Folsom Prison
I watched tons of videotapes on the guys and, yeah man, I'm fascinated with both of them
I drive down the 80, past San Pablo Dam
I used to pull catfish out of there in the summertime
Bring 'em home and fry 'em up in a pan
I drive down the 80, past Gentleman Jack
Past the C&H Sugar factory, crossing the Carquinez Bridge

Now I'm driving down the 80
I see the Yolo Fruit Stand
I'm gonna grab me a bag of oranges and some apples and a bag of pecans
Now I'm driving down the 50, past Pollock Pines
Got me a log cabin out there right on the snow line
And out on my acres, got me a pond of ducks
Kid goes fishing on my property, man
Good fucking luck
'Cause down in my pond, tied down with a ton of bricks
Is a dead guy bashed over the head with a guitar and stuck with an ice pick

On June 10th, 2016
Burt Clossin turned himself into authorities unarmed and led police to the body of Dad Rock Slowhand Simpleton. Simpleton was an Eric Clapton impersonator who had recorded two albums in his forty-five years. He was known for embracing a musical style known as yacht rock or, in other circles, dad rock. Bert's log cabin was subsequently searched. His walls were graffitied with the word "Loser." A small CD collection was found, including compact discs by Pete Yorn, Jet, Hot Hot Heat, Veruca Salt, Temple of the Dog, The Donnas, and Thirty Seconds to Mars. All CDs were still in the shrink wrap, unopened, except for Hot Hot Heat. Burt's flip-phone was filled with texts to a 666 area code phone number, once a Louisiana prefix. All texts said, "Go away." His phone was also filled with photos of cats and payphones. The objects used to kill his victim were a '59 reissued Les Paul guitar made by Epiphone and an antique ice pick bought at an Alameda flea market. No other weapons were found in the cabin. Other items collected were a 24-inch flat-screen TV, boxing blooper videotapes, a VCR, and sports clothing designed by Under Armour. Burt Clossin is now serving a triple life sentence plus five years for the death of Dad Rock Slowhand Simpleton in California's Corcoran Prison. Burt claimed that his motive for the murder was triggered by Simpleton's singing voice, which, according to Burt, sounded too much like, quote, "The guy who sang "Wonderful Tonight." "Wonderful Tonight," an Eric Clapton ballad from the album Slowhand was Burt's 7th grade sweetheart's favorite song. "She dumped me," Burt told investigators, "for a rich kid with a pontoon boat."