Demons

Counting backwards I don't know what I've been feeling
Steering forward, I'm starting to feel it weaken
Tell me how I've chosen to carry on
Even though I've felt like I've lost it all
It's kind of funny when I'm helpless
I choose to blame myself and help less
Though I'm pushing every day to move along
I can feel the weakness I'm giving up
And all these thoughts filling my head
I just don't know if I can take it
So I've been sleeping with the sirens
Chasing any feeling of excitement
Once I had it all
But seeking desires I grew tired of never having it
Focused on living in the now rather planning it
When all along wishing I could have managed it
Yeah
Fuck it I'll be taking off
Cause I know I can do no wrong anymore
Tired of the life I've owned
Building walls between the ones I love
What the hell
Speaking like I've truly grown
But I'm standing at the lowest low
I've ever known
Hoping I can make it home
Cause I'm struggling to find the will to carry on
Tryna find my way back home
Thinking how my life is so
Fucking unpredictable
Struggling to find control
Watching as I lose my soul
I'm walking down an endless road
Fighting for the ones I love
But I've never felt more alone
Yeah yeah
Holding conversations with my demons
Yeah
Cuz they're the only ones that seem to listen
Truth from in the heart of all these visions
Yeah
And I'm terrified I'm lost here in this prison
What if there's a part of me I've always been scared to show
Now that I've been isolated feels like I belong alone
Could I just be afraid that I'll be struggling until I'm gone
Or maybe there's a chance that I'll be strong enough to say that I'm wrong
I've been tryna break these chains
Shackled to the feeling that I'll always stay
The very same
Broken people seem to claim
That the world is here to make them fade away
Listen to the words I've said
I've been fighting all the fears in my head
Breakaway
Sick of all the constant dread
To the point where imma make the change
Tryna find my way back home
Thinking how my life is so
Fucking unpredictable
Struggling to find control
Watching as I lose my soul
I'm walking down an endless road
Fighting for the ones I love
But I've never felt more alone
Yeah yeah
Holding conversations with my demons
Yeah
Cuz they're the only ones that seem to listen
Truth from in the heart of all these visions
Yeah
And I'm terrified I'm lost here in this prison
I don't wanna go there
Back in to the deepest part of my mind
I always thought I knew that
I could get lost and slow down time
And I don't wanna know that
All my demons they love to lie
But only when I'm broken
Do they make me feel alive