Letter to the Penthouse Forum

Dear Penthoue,
I never did beleive anything I ever read in your magazine until just the other night.
When something happen to me that was so strange that I felt compelled to share it with your readers
I'm a student at State-U
Maybe I'm getting ahead of myself. It was one year ago tonight that My room mate Stupendous dork and I were sittin around the dorm poppin a few frostys and burning some rope, and boning up for the Speech therapy midterm exam the next day by reading back issues of your magazine out loud to each other.
I looked at Stu and he looked at me and we both knew neither of us was going to get a realgood grade on that exam anyway. We hopped out out of the dorm and when across the street to Herbie's Tumble Inn.
Right across from the dorm there, we came thru the swinging doors and I couldn't beleive my eyes, there they were sitting at the the bar, these two lucious babes, and they were siamese twins
I looked at Stu and he looked at me and we looked at them and they looked at us and then one of the twins said "won't You join us" and I just laughed and we went and sat down at the bar.
Turns out one if the ladies was a speech therapy major. And her sister said she had some rope in her purse there and a big light bulb went off in my head and I said "What the Heck why don't we all go back to the Dorm?"
Came out of the swingin doors at herbies and couldn't get across the street.
There was these 30 bikers with jackets that said Harley Aristocrats on the back, there was an Aerobic dance class and there was the commanding officer of the campus ROTC pushing a Nautilus machine right down the double yellow line I said "what the Heck, why don't we all go back to the dorm?"
The last thing I remember is one of the twins screaming "Hey general put your big heat seeking missile in my love silo!"
I got my degree in spite of failing speech therapy that quarter. Last night for the first time in a year, my room mate Stupendous Dork went back to Herbies to toast our Commencement. Came thru the swingin doors and there they were at the bar, the same two siamese twins and I said "Oh no" and I went and sat down a table.
The Twins came over to the table and the one that was a speech therapy major looked my right in the eye and said "Excuse me you probalby don't remember us."
Name and Address withheld by request

Never recorded, oft bootlegged, many other similar versions.