Franklin Shepard, Inc. [1994 Off-Broadway]
Now tell me, how do you two work together?
Oh, may I answer that?
Please
How do we work together? Sure
He goes-
And I go-
And soon we're humming along-
Hmmm-mmm
And that's called writing a song-
Hmmm-mmm
Then he goes-
And I go-
And the phone goes brrrring!
And he goes-
"Mutter mutter mutter mutter, yes Jerome
Mutter, no Jerome
Mutter mutter mutter mutter"
That's his lawyer, Jerome-
"Mutter, mutter, mutter, mutter, mutter, do it Jerome"
Click
"Sorry, Charley"
So I go-
And he goes-
And I go-
And soon we're tapping away
Hmmm-mmm
Bzzz!
"Sorry, Charley"
Bzzz!
Bzzz!
"Yes, Miss Bizz?"
"It's a messenger"
"Thanks, Miss Bizz
Will you tell him to wait?
Will you order the car?
Will you call up the bank?
Will you wire the coast?
Will you"
Brrrrrring!
"Sorry, Charley"
"Mutter mutter mutter mutter, sell the stock
Mutter, buy the rights
Mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter"
Bzzz!
"Let me put you on hold"
Bzzz!
"Yes, Miss Bizz"
"It's the interview"
"Thanks, Miss Bizz"
Will you tell him to wait?
Will you wire the car?
Will you order the coast?
Will you send up the bank?"
And the telephones blink
And the stocks get sold
And the rest of us he keeps on hold
And he's into making movies
And he's now a corporation
Right?
So I play at home
With my wife and kids
And I wait to hear the movie bids
And I've got a little sailboat
And I'm into meditation
Right
He flies off to California
I discuss him with my shrink
That's the story of the way we work
Me and Franklin Shepard, Inc
Now, when you do work together, I've always been curious
Which generally comes first - the words or the music?
Generally, the contract
Ah, well that sounds like you think making money is a bad thing for an artist
Money?
Did I say money?
No, I like money a lot
Hmmm-mmm
I mean, it's better than not
Hmmm-mmm
But when it's
Money
Money
When you're into
Money-
And you should be
Listen, Frank does the money thing very well, but you know what?
Other people do it better
And Frank does the music thing very well
And you know what? No one does it better
Still, the telephones blink
And the buzzers buzz
And I really don't know what he does
But he makes a ton of money
And a lot of it for me -
Right?
So I think "Okay,"
And I start a play
And he somehow knows
'Cause right away
It's brrrring!
"Hiya, buddy
Wanna write a show?
Got a great idea
We'll own all the rights
With a two-week out
And a turnaround
On the guarantee
Plus a gross percent
Of the billing clause"
And there I am in California
Talking deals and turning pink
Back in business and I mean just that
Back with Franklin Shepard, Inc
Very sneaky how it happens
Much more sneaky than you think
Start with nothing but a song to sing
Next, you're Franklin Shepard
Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute
I'm getting in a little too deep here
Franklin, let me ask you
See, the thing is Frank and I are not that kind of close anymore
Not like we used to be
And now, Frank
And a friendship is like a garden
You have to water it, you have to tend it
You have to care about it or you lose it
And I miss it, and I want it back
Look, nothing permanent has happened
Just a temporary kink
Friendship's something you don't really lose
Ladies and gentlemen don't let me lose the greatest composer any lyricist ever had
Phone him, write him, stop him on the street - you'll recognise him
He's the one going through his chequebook- and tell that man to get back to his piano
Very sneaky how it happens
Every day you're on the brink
First the prizes, then the interviews
Oh, my God, I think it's happened
Stop me quick before I sink
One more triumph that I can't refuse
In case you didn't notice, this is my first time on TV - and my last
No, here's the point, whatever happens
Then we'll all go have a drink
That's the guy I love, the fella who's
Inside
"Mutter, mutter, mutter, mutter
Quick, Jerome, get the president, there's a crazy man on my TV screen"
Inside
Bzzz! Bzzz! Brrring!
Inside Franklin Shepard
Just write him care of any bank, USA
Inc