This is All I Am and All I'll Ever Be

Something's telling me to go home
I told you once when we first met
There's nothing good inside of my head
Patterns, oh patterns of illness
All along it would be this way

Fearful mind
Is it making sense?
Layered with this shame
But I don't deserve to feel this way

Make me clean
Clean me up and set the wounds in me free
Nothing I can do about my genes
Make me clean
So I can say I tried my best and it worked this time
How long I've tried, how long I've tried

Floating above the ground
When gravity comes down
And the only way back up from here will surely get me killed
I should've gone home

Barely functional and tired, but trying
Doing my best to make it for you and I
Am I getting closer to whatever healed looks like?
Is this worth it?
Oh tell me if it's worth it
Am I a victim to what is developing
Or am I stronger than I can clearly see
I've been so low and I've been so weak
Nearly forgotten if I am meant to be

Fearful mind
Is it making sense?
Layered with this shame
But I don't deserve to feel this way

Make me clean
Clean me up and set the wounds in me free
Nothing I can do about my genes
Make me clean
So I can say I tried my best and it worked this time
How long I've tried, how long I've tried
Floating above the ground
When gravity comes down
And the only way back up from here will surely get me killed

I should've gone home
I should've gone home

Make me clean
Clean me up and set my wounds free
Nothing I can do about my genes
So I can say I tried my best and it worked this time
How long I've tried, how long I've tried

Floating above the ground
When gravity comes down
And the only way back up from here will surely get me killed
Floating above the ground
When gravity comes down
And the only way back up from here
Make me clean