Bawdy Song

We sat round the table upon Christmas Day
My brother said you should all know that I'm
Going for a drive can I borrow the truck
By the way mum and dad I think your both
Funny, No really I love you to bits

Grandma yelled Merry Christmas, and flopped out her
Tickets to a concert put on by Lou Rawls
Grandad stood up and said look at my

Christmas Day, Christmas Day
You never know what they are going to sing

We all went outside and were gazing at Venus
Someone remarked at the size of
Uranus and Pluto and Saturn and Mars
What's that foul smell it's just Grandma's
Arsenic she keeps in a jar by the clock
She rubs some each night on your Grandfathers
Corns, which are painful from shoes that don't fit
And He feels relief when he sits down to

Christmas Day, Christmas Day
You never know what they are going to suggest

Well then we all went for a dip in the pool
Dad said to Grandpa you silly old
Fuckwit, you're fucked you've fucked off with me togs
Oh shit now I've sworn and fucked up the
Song, Which was never meant to be this blunt
Oh fuck this, get fucked you're a big pack of

Christmas Day, Christmas Day
You never know what they are going to say