Buckets of Silence

Had I known then what I know now
Had I thought now what I knew then
I might still be human
With all the little stupid fix-ins
As I fix sins and vixens vick souls
Stitch clothes for the characters they
Play then switch roles
Nail me to the cross dress
The holy cloth costs less i'd toss less
If I still had your soft breasts
To rest my head on since you've been gone
I recalled my issues with problems and hate
But I can't exactly remember
The model or make
Now glass bottles break in my death grip
I'm about to take the next quick
Exit and end this head trip
My bed is stripped of
It's blankets, comforters
Pillows and sheets
But I might have to peel off all my skin
To remove your scent in order to sleep

I had my highs and lows
When on top, I let you peek out over my nose
Sitting on my shoulders and I suppose
If I had a backbone you might still be here
My skin is filthy
From my lows when you weren't there
But to keep from feeling guilty
I collected the dirtkept it piling up
Now Mr Feel Nothing saves his
Tears inside of a cup
And he drinks and he forgets
That he's an asshole
Jealous of his ghosts and doubts that
He even has a soul

My secret pleasures have my
Inner demons gossiping
I'm a ghost writer for the horrorcore
Lyrics my personal mosters sing

I'm sitting in a strangers tub
With all my clothes onshiveringconsidering
The dangers of love

They get half of what I have to giveif THAT
It's all about the packaging they're
Distracted by the gift rap

Predictable easy to manipulate
They're foreshadow puppets and I'm waiting
For their strings to break

The pillars that once held up my
Halfway house have been taken out
I'm in my last days now
There's a change coming soon
I just want to crawl back
Into my mother's womb i need a comfort zone
But obviously I need to find another home
To call my ownand always return to
And I want it to be you

I sit and stare, zone out
Think a lot and never sleep
Creating memories to remember and then
I forget to eat

Went to the street you used to live on
Staring at the bedroom window
Of your old home
With puppy eyeswaiting for God to
Throw me a bone

I'd settle for one more goodbye kiss
While I settle for less
I'm unsettled at best sulking
While abandoning settlements
Insulting my companions
Intelligenceconversing with baby talk
Playing with mind games rehearsing
With playful thought

Its the way we fought that made
My blood bubble then turn cold
When you made me walk through rain and
Mud puddles down a dirt road
It left me so messy forget me

Not

I've got more mud to sling

Shot