Andy Kaufman

Now I know it ain't right
But I decided I had to us poets paint life
But don't get recognized till after
So I faked my own death just
To see what would happen
As I take shallow breaths and
Wait for people's reaction
It was funny at first
But I had to hold my laughterwait
Before long I was on display
At an open casket wake
And I'm the main attraction
Who draws a crowd a freak show of sorts
Good thing my skin is pale enough
To pass as a decomposing corpse
Frozen in my thoughts, laying stiff
Playing with
People's emotions and awaiting a
Kiss from praying lips that I hate but miss
She didn't show
Although she sent a card with flowers
How considerate
Little bitch would make me sit
In my car for hours
Heartless powers start to devour my patience
It gets me violent
I'm ready to fly shit and
End everything like "I quit"
Then again I sit deathly quiet
Biting my tongue
Just excited that some kids who
Were invited to come did
I'm the center of attention
The talk of the town
It ain't all that profound
But on this special day of mine I'm
The one the universe revolves around
It's like a birthday, kind of
I also found that it's the
Worst way to find love
White doves battle black crows in
One of the back rows
And everybody my ass knows back
Home is sporting black clothes
Looking glum as usual, it's all too familiar
I put the fun back into funeral
My morbid humor'll kill ya
For all that it's worth
People who I thought were jerks
Were putting on the water works
And it sorta hurts
My momma stroked my hair with so
Much care but hardly spoke
Now my heart is broke
And yeah I should've let her in on the joke
But I'm honestly choked up
And I'm stuck holding back my tears
As I absorb the atmosphere
"I wanna turn back, i'm scared"
Then a hand touches my shoulder
To calm my nerves
And something odd occurs because I
Heard my father's words so I got disturbed
As he expressed what he's never said
What bothered me the most
Is that I remembered, he's dead
I manifested destiny
The best and worst of worlds has come true
As I'm buried alive
In the back of my mind echoes his words
"I love you"

Irony is a funny bastard
I mean you gotta be funny
When your mere existence is totally dependent
Upon God's twisted sense of humor
And I could cut this kid with
A knife he's living so thick
The knife struck over privileged kids try to
Tell me life sucks men preoccupy their minds
Thinking about all the guys their
Wives had sexual relations with
I'd have patience if the
Innocence weren't lost
But when I scrub my hands
The purity rinsed off
And when I scrubbed some
More protective gloves tore
The only thing saving me from lovingher