Bleak

Early days was somber watched my father
I ponder and wonder how addiction came and conquered
I recall trying to stop it but all I did was conjure
The need for more time to move onward

Stay sober and feel like an outcast
When people ask
Why don't you drink
My dad
I unmask my past on this track
Nothing but watching him relapse
Abandoned family for a flask

Wish I couldve stayed annoymous to the alcohol
Not about to say I know it all
Family comes above it all
Body so dependent and goes thru withdrawals
This type of addiction not sure what's its called

Done trying to help that's whats been chosen
No hope I see sober when the door opens
Emotions and how i feel being spoken mouth I've closed it
I know this Heart went thru Erosion

I'm not enough feel the same now I've grown up
But I seen the growth and how I've shown up
I tried and spoked up what was shown to us
Is That some stuff people won't ever give it up

Addict in my own ways I'm addicted to putting words on the page
I think about this every single day
Think of different ways of stuff to say
And How I can slay and elevate my pen game

I'll write the same words over and over
just to move the needle closer
stay in lines till I'm older
Feel the weight on my shoulders feels like I'm on a emotional coaster

Don't know if I inspire anyone with these rhymes or in life
Keep to myself And tend to hide often times
I don't want to step outside
I stay in my dark room no light because

I wanna get better
Why do I not see results
What can I do different
I need to set small goals