That Bad

A history of stillness, a bloodline of mental illness
I'd rather be a fraud and be happy than known as the realest
Still the same dark day for my mother and my mother's mother
And Brooks, I can't get outta bed but i can write hooks
Wife's a maniac but she's the only one that's still around
Three in the afternoon on a sunny day layin' on the ground
I wanna feel the way I felt when I was layin' with my dad
But I don't know if I want it that bad

I think about what I don't have
Five days a week sad, other two just mad
Six in the mornin' in the back of a cab
And I don't know if I want it that bad

It ain't non-stop to Heaven there's a layover in Hell
And I've been sittin' here for ten years talkin' to Satan on his cell
You gotta be kiddin' me I ain't signed up for this
And you wonder why Steaknife got scars on his wrist
My heart got a black eye
Sometime I get scared that I might cry
Why do I pretend that I'm not shy
Sometime all I can do is just stay high

I think about what I don't have
Five days a week sad, other two just mad
Six in the mornin' in the back of a cab
And I don't know if I want it that bad
What I've lost and what I've seen
All in order to fulfill my dreams
Thought I had to be like my dad
But I don't know if I want it that bad
Runnin' fast on the sidewalk
Talkin' to myself and I can't stop
The up and down and up and down smile to a frown
Town to town but same scenery same sound
No escape when awake so I sleep late
Everywhere I go I'm still there I can't shake me in my mind
L-I-S-T's and three or four lines and now I'm fine
(Maybe not)

You know where I been
With my head in my hands again
With my head in my hands again
You know where I been
With my head in my hands again
With my head in my hands again
Do you know where I been
I think about what I don't have
Five days a week sad, other two just mad
Six in the mornin' in the back of a cab
And I don't know if I want it that bad

Sun comin' up and I need some sleep
Eyes are red and I'm feelin' weak
I can out-do you and I can out-do me
But all that I really want is peace
What I've lost and what I've seen
All in order to fulfill my dreams
I thought I had to be like my dad
But I don't know if I want it that bad

But I don't know if I want it that bad

With my head in my hands again
With my head in my hands again