Mr. Ice Cream Man (skit)

Mr. Ice Cream Man:
Aye
Ice cream goddamn it, let's go
It's ice cream, I got ice cream right here
What it is yo? I see y'all over here
Come here, I got ice cream goddamn it
How many of y'all want ice cream?
Come on where y'all at, yo?
Ice cream right here right here
(I want some)
Now what y'all little motherfuckers want?
Come on and tell me yo
(Vanilla!)

Kid 1:
Mr. ice cream man, why you curse so much?

Mr. Ice Cream Man:
Don't yo mamma curse?
I'm on parole like your daddy, motherfucker
Now what your little badass want yo?

Kid 2:
I want a vanilla cone
With sprinkles and syrup
And a li- and a little icing and a little i-i-

Mr. Ice Cream Man:
A-a-a-a- You stut-stuttering son of a bitch
No you can't have shit, you bastard
Give me a goddamn dollar motherfucker

Mother:
Hold up, you black motherfucker
You need to watch the way you talk around these kids
Especially to my son, you're a ice cream drunk driver
You need to have a little more respect for these kids

Mr. Ice Cream Man:
Bitch
Hold up bitch, Hold up bitch
Bitch, Davris ain't give you full custody yet
That ain't even yo goddamn son fully yet, motherfucker
That's half your goddamn son

Mother:
Look, I'm not tryna hear this shit right now
I'm not tryna hear this shit
You fucking broke ass motherfucker
Driving a ice cream truck

Mr. Ice Cream Man:
Well go to the goddamn library, you don't wanna hear it motherfucker
And be quiet in there motherfucker

Mother:
Yeah I got a motherfucking trick for you
I'ma call the police on yo ass

Mr. Ice Cream Man:
Yeah, yeah and the police--

Mother:
Yeah I'ma tell them you selling drugs on the motherfucking ice cream truck

Mr. Ice Cream Man:
Yeah yo mama gon get locked up
She buy her drugs from the ice cream truck, motherfucker

Mother:
See, what if I go in the house and get my husband
He'll come out here and whoop your motherfucking ass

Mr. Ice Cream Man:
Can't nobody in your family whoop me
Can't not goddamn one person in your family whoop me

Mother:
Oh really?
My husband used to box golden gloves
And he'll come out here and knock you out on the fucking first round

Mr. Ice Cream Man:
If he could put the pipe down
He might could, motherfucker
If he could put that smoke down one minute
He might can whoop my ass
But he'll never get to try, motherfucker
Cause he ain't gon put the crack crack down

Mother:
You know what fuck you, motherfucker
Fuck you, you fucking asshole

Mr. Ice Cream Man:
Fuck you and your mama, motherfucker

Kid 2:
Mr. Ice Cream Man, you're mean

Mr. Ice Cream Man:
I'm just like ya grandmama
I'm just like her
So get your little dirty ass out of here
Give me a dollar or get the fuck out of here

[Kids jeering]
Man, gimme my vanilla with sprinkles!

Mr. Ice Cream Man:
Hold up motherfucker
Hold up motherfucker
Hold up you little dirty motherfuckers
This is a motherfucking stick-up

Kids:
Oh no!

Mr Ice Cream Man:
Give me your motherfucking
Nickels, quarters, skateboards
Baseball cards, all that bullshit
You got a gummy bear (Gimme my gummy bear!)
Come here you little dirty bastard
Give me your goddamn lunch money
Your fucking lunch money
Your combination to your locker (I need that for school, though)
Your PSPs, all that bullshit (Not my phone!)
You got some new Jordans on
Come here you motherfucker with them Jordans (Leave that boy alone, he only five)
Sit your motherfucking ass down, nigga (Get off him!)
I want all that shit (Get off of him!)
And your mamma phone number you motherfucker you

Kid 2:
Aww I'm telling my dad-I'm telling my dad
I'm gonna get my daddy

Mr. Ice Cream Man:
And I'd love to stay here and kick it with y'all little dirty motherfuckers
But I'm late for parole so get the fuck back
I'm out of here you little dirty motherfuckers

Announcer:
Red's gone wild