Always Lose

Feels like I'm crossing a line when I'm crossing my fingers
Like I'm walking on thorns, like I can't pull out the splinters
I lost my will to chase
And I've lost track of all the names

I keep telling myself I can change, I can change
I keep lying 'cause I'm only saving face

Feels like I always lose
When I open up, I end up without you
How the fuck am I supposed to heal these wounds?
Black and blue, can't see through
Black and blue
Feels like I always lose
When I open up, I end up without you

I'm at the same dead end, the lonely space in my head
With my past coming back to shatter my hopes again
I'm scared of holding on
'Cause I've lost my grip for way too long

I keep telling myself I can change, I can change
I keep lying 'cause I'm only saving face

Feels like I always lose
When I open up, I end up without you
How the fuck am I supposed to heal these wounds?
Black and blue, can't see through
Black and blue
Feels like I always lose
When I open up, I end up without you

I wonder, could it be worse?
Am I bound to hurt forever?
I wonder, could it be worse?
Am I bound to hurt forever?

Feels like I always lose
When I open up, I end up without you
How the fuck am I supposed to heal these wounds?
Black and blue, can't see through
Black and blue
Feels like I always lose
When I open up, I end up without you (without you)