Momma Was an Opium-Smoker

Momma was an opium-smoker
She light it with a red-hot poker
She would never take a bath
We would ask her - she'd just laugh
Because our momma was an opium-smoker

She made it with this gentleman, Lincoln
They met on a boat, it was sinking
When she shoulda gone overboard,
Momma say, "No way, oh my lord"
"Only of opium smoke am I thinkin'"

Oh help us Lord
We can't afford, her destructive ways
You oughtta hear what she says!
She would just sit on her fat ass
Yell at us, "Fill up my wine glass!"
She would tell us, "How sad"
"You won't never know your dad"

Oh yeah, my momma was an opium-smoker
She hide the money and the drugs in the mattress
I wonder, how long has she been at this?
And I say, "Mom, bang the gong"
"Can't you see, it's gone all wrong?"
Oh yeah, my momma was an opium-smoker