Poor Unfortunate Souls

I admit that, in the past, I've been a nasty
They weren't kidding when
They called me, well, "a witch"
But you'll find that nowadays I've
Mended all my ways
Repented, seen the light, and made a switch
True? Yes

And I fortunately know a little magic
It's a talent that I always have possessed
And here lately, please don't laugh
I use it on behalf of the miserable, lonely
And depressed "Pathetic"

Poor unfortunate souls in pain, in need
This one longing to be thinner
This one wants to get the girl
And do I help them? Yes, indeed
Those poor unfortunate souls so sad, so true
They come flocking to my cauldron
Crying, "Spells, Ursula, please!"
And I help them! Yes, I do

Now, it's happened once or twice
Someone couldn't pay the price
And I'm afraid I had to
Rake them 'cross the coals
Yes, I've had the odd complaint
But on the whole I've been a saint
To those poor unfortunate souls

Now, here's the deal: If you dare
There's a potion I'll prepare
Just consume and you'll be human
Three whole days up above

By the end of day 3 listen up this is key
Just convince Mr prince
And get a kiss of true love

If I do?

Lucky you you stay human through and through
You can go, wed your beau
And be totally divine

And if not?

Then guess what, girl?
You'll turn back into a Mer-Girl
Same as you once were, girl
But that tail will be mine!
Don't be shy, dear what will it be?
You want the guy, dear? Leave it to me

But what about my father? And my family?

Hmm sorry, dear there's no way to spin it
Life's full of tough choices, innit?
One last thing, silly me
Did I mention there's a fee?
Nothing choice, just your voice
No more talking, singing, zip

Not a word?

Not a note not a whisper from your throat

But

Show some spine, you'll be fine
Honey, here's a little tip:
You'll have your looks! Your pretty face!
And don't underestimate the importance
Of body language, ha!

The men up there don't like a lot of blabber
They think a girl who gossips is a bore
Yes, on land it's much preferred
For ladies not to say a word
And after all, dear, what is idle babble for?

Come on, you poor unfortunate soul
Go ahead, make your choice!
I'm a very busy woman
And I haven't got all day
It won't cost much just your voice!
You poor unfortunate soul
It's sad, but true
If you want to cross a bridge, my sweet
You've got to pay the toll
Take a gulp and take a breath
And go ahead and sign the scroll!
Flotsam, Jetsam, now I've got her, boys!
The boss is on a roll!
Those poor unfortunate souls beluga, sevruga
Come winds of the Caspian Sea
Larengix glaucitis et max laryngitis
La voce to me now sing

Aa-aa-aah, a-aa-aah

Keep singing!

Aa-aa-aah, a-aa-aah