My Big Ass Meal (Excerpt From Commissary Kitchen)

I loved when I had visitors
Especially my family a few
Friends came too, but whenever my
Family made that trip
I made sure my uniform was
Tight i'd "iron" the uniform
Under the bed that's where
Everybody ironed their clothes

You get two uniforms
So you keep one under the bed
For your visit, so by the
Time the visit comes
It's nice and fresh because you
Been sleeping on it
All week that's like your visit uniform
During the rest of the week, nobody cares
On the visitors' floor, when my kids used
To visit me with my wife
They had vending machines where you
Could get snacks and
Chips and everything that they
Don't have in commissary

People couldn't wait for the visit because
Then you could have like
Hot wings you could put in the microwave!
They got ill shit you could get
In the vending machine they
Had hot sandwiches
And other food you could put
In the microwave: ill snacks, doughnuts
A lot of things just things they don't
Have on the inside they had this
Spicy chicken sandwich
And the name of it was Big
Ass Chicken Sandwich that was the name of it
Yo! It was a spicy chicken sandwich
Like the one at Wendy's

It was a spicy chicken patty, it
Had real jalapeños on it
And it really was a Big Ass Chicken
Sandwich it was about $4 or
Something like that that
Was my favorite thing to eat at every visit
I would get the Big Ass Chicken Sandwich
They also had the Big Ass Burger
Too it would say it right on
The package – Big Ass Burger

You can't sneak it back up
Though they gotta strip search you they gotta
Look in your butthole and all that
You gotta lift your nuts, cough
All that shit

After a while, i told my wife not to come
Because it was an 8-hour drive
– four hours up to Mid-State
And four hours back down
I didn't want her doing all that driving
You know what I mean? So
I was like, "Don't come just come
When you feel like it
Holidays or whatever that drive is too long"
Plus in the wintertime
It's bad up there it's crazy you know how
Many times after visiting the prison
People's families would be like, "Yo
We got into a car
Accident and our car flipped over!"
I used to tell them, "Don't come up here
Come if you really feel like coming don't
Come thinking I need a visit
Because I don't give a fuck i don't need it"
So this producer me and Havoc did
Music with named King Benny, it just so
Happened that motherfucker lived in
The town where the jail was at in Utica
And he'd come and visit me every weekend he
Lived five minutes from the jail so
I had a visit every weekend, and a
Big Ass Chicken sandwich every weekend
Sometimes a Big Ass Burger it was crazy

He hooked me up with real kicks
Too we could order sneakers
But they was corny they had
Bootleg Jordans in jail they
Had a bootleg catalog
With fake ass Jordans, fake
Timbs, fake everything
Because you can't have nothing that's
Over $50 they want to
See the receipt from the store it came from

So he used to kick sneakers
Under the table for me
I would buy them fake joints and wear them
He would come to the prison with new real J's
On in my size and while we were sitting
We'd kick the shoes to each other
Under the table I'd put on
The real J's and he would
Put on the fake ones

One time we did it
And we almost got caught my
Man Benny is sitting right there
In front of me
His back to the guards i had to sit facing
The guards so I gotta look normal while I'm
Taking off my sneakers and look like I'm not
Doing nothing i kicked my sneakers off
Gave it to him
He kicked his sneakers off, kicked it to me
And
One of the sneakers went flying to the side
Almost to the next visiting table!
I'm like oh shit!

My boy tried to kick it over i thought
We was gonna get caught! We didn't though
But I looked pretty sus tryin' to act like
Nothin' was goin' on but didn't matter
Because I got some new J's and I
Had a Big Ass Chicken Sandwich
From commissary kitchen: my infamous prison
Cookbook published by Infamous Books

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