Caustic vs. Chris Leese
[Round 1: Chris Leese]
What's his name?
Caustic
He went a whole round talkin’ 'bout one of his opponent's havin’ a soft dick
Hehe Caustic
He only travels by airplane cause he gets car sick
Caustic
He does not give one SHIT
I spent the last two months fuckin' shittin' my pants
Cause in the third round he's going to bring up all them lil' kids I've shagged
He'll dig up anything
He'll dig up your raps
Dig up your Instagram, fuckin’ dig up your Snaps
Dish up the dirt when he digs up your past
And if he finds out your parents are dead he’ll fuckin' dig up your dad
But I don’t air things out when I stick my dick in a slag
I've been arrested but I'm not the type of prick that'll brag
I don’t hit women, I'm always sniffin' up grams
And I have more money than you...ha good luck diggin' up that
I mean, you can bring up that fact that Locksmyth tipped up my cap
But I didn't flinch or move back, I was too focused on winnin' the clash
But trust me Daniel, I'm always down to kick up and scrap
Test and your chin'll get smacked
I'll be liftin' ya cap cause I ain't a lil BITCH like you that's afraid to hit someone back
If you would, give me a slap
But there's about 16 lads down there that'll give you 'em back
See the best hope of leavin' England intact is to lie down and play dead while you get zipped in a bag
Draped in the American flag then go back to life when they're shippin' you back
[?] you will not see me rattled
Hah, what a lil' rascal, he's softer and sweeter than a [?] bar stool
Yeah I thought the Arcane and Jeff clashes were compliment battles
Beer break
{Grabs his beer and drinks it}
Queer fake
Freestyle
I honestly can't wait to hear what he's brung for me
Cause his only fuckin' game plan is bein' a cunt to me
I'm a piece of shit mate, being belittled is fun to me
So if you plan on insultin' me
You better lie down, spread your legs, give birth, do a song for me
Kill him and resurrect him then FUCK him in front of me
You're a pedophile, yeah
You lil' dirty motherfucker
He definitely would fancy me if I was 20 years younger
People sayin' I should be afraid of what he could say to me
Like me even bein' here is some massive feat of bravery
Have you seen me lately?
Hah, the whole scene's afraid of me
Fuck Caustic, this shit's a piece of cake to me
He only beat Jeff, don't be actin' like he's a name to me
He should suck my dick for even bein' on stage wit' me
Come take this beatin' graciously
I buried more (Moor) kids than Ian Brady see (sea)
You're either Making Me A Murderer all the police are framin' me
Cause you're gettin' bars you don't deserve like Steven Avery
Look, what we started as a hobby and a lil' bit of fun
Has turned you into a backstabbing, spineless little cunt
Your love for researchin' rappers has got your trail clingin' to his mom
Cause you're better at bringin' up the past than you are at bringin' up your son
[Round 1: Caustic]
He said he was gonna jump me with his boys
His whole clique is really important
Who the fuck is gonna beat me up? You and fuckin' skinny The Saurus?
I'd like to welcome you to the greatest battle of your career
And it's the opposite for me so bear with me let's persevere
I got 3 two minute rounds, a lot of people are expectin' me to 30 here
But I don't know how they expect me to make him interesting in six minutes when he hasn't been able to do it in 30 years
I mean to be honest I owed a favor if I'm keepin' it true
Would've cost me an arm and a leg to even get even with dude
So if anybody gives me shit about my opponent the reason it's you
It's cause Shotty told me battling Chris is literally the least I could do
I mean he's never had a lot of luck in his life, shit not at least with women
His wife's had more sacks (sax) in her mouth than fuckin' Lisa Simpson
So if anybody's wonderin' why I picked such an easy victim
I guess I'm just preconditioned to takin' the path with the least resistance
I'm not beefin' with him
Shit, drama I'm fuckin' servin' him
Shit, take him out the tournament
Bitch, anybody fuckin'- I swear to God I fuckin' kill this motherfucker like a Saudi journalist
This ain't the battle that I wanted it's a battle that I'm workin' with
Motherfucker I gave you this shit even though you didn't deserve the shit
And since you wanna be America, let's play some baseball
First pitch I'm swingin', you Walking Dead
I caught a body off the bat like Rick and Negan
Shit, over opinionated women, some bitches should just stick to Tweetin'
But you fuckin' with the legend, now you takin' shots to the face like Chrissy Teigen
Yo, this fools fresh outta the sticks, tryin' to convince us you're ghetto
Smokey And The Bandit I got somethin' in the stash like Burt Reynolds
If I rearrange his jaw, they'll have to rearrange his work schedule
Get your shirt stained, Chris chin (Christian) made of glass like church windows
Loso's been speakin' to the Lord and God informed him that
Chris Leese is not important
Please be quiet when the God's performin'
Keep his flows under wraps, it means I'll water board him
Hook him up to jump cables and abuse the power like law enforcement
[?] him up, you never met a sharper swordsman
Harvest organs like marijuana farms in Portland
Outlawed in the west plus I got an armed squad of horsemen
Bare back ridin' through his bitch's Sweetwater like I'm Arthur Morgan
He's got an album comin' out
It's called All Good Things
I heard it's got a couple of gems, shit I even got to preview the shit
Overseas I've got a couple of friends
I had to cut that shit off half way though, cause I ain't fuck wit' his pen
But I learned why they had the phrase "all good things must come to an end"
I don't know why they sent me the shit
Maybe they did it just to fuck wit' him
Can't believe they trusted him
Listened to every single song then I laughed at every single one of 'em
But after the shit was over I just sat in my chair fuckin' wonder
Why the fuck you named your album All Good Things when your fuckin' album wasn't one of 'em
[Round 2: Chris Leese]
Mediocre
Don't any of you lot dare, check out any fuckin' women today or he'll bring ringin' ya missus
He you ever get [?], snitches get stitches
He's got no homeboys left, he's left all their reputations to fade
Tells their birds they've been cheatin' so they break up again
Fuckin' hell man I'm just glad you made it okay
What film did you watch on the flight? Fuckin' Snakes On A Plane
Serious, no man are friends with him no more
He's [?] them all in like a pathetic little whore
After this battle the very second I enter through the door
My wife will be like, "Caustic's just texted me. We're gettin' a divorce."
Aye, he's such a fuckin' hero
Standin' up for women's problems, so he pops up every now and then just to show he's thinkin' of her
Every time a battle rapper's 'bout to get their fingers poppin'
Caustic stops time and lectures them like Dr. Dre in 'Guilty Conscious'
Beer break
The beer's great
Meet Jefferson Price
After meeting a 12 year old fuckin' groupie at a fuckin' King Of The Ronalds event
Things start gettin' hot and heavy in the dog kennel next to Pedro's paradise
You're a fuckin' weirdo mate
Off stage you're a nice fella
On stage a vile predator
Career spoiler and life ender
We'll see how far the angles you've used against Price get you
You beat Soul cause he choked I beat Soul cause I'm better
You feelin' pumped?
You ain't got the heart for this high pressure
I brought bars and material, both will make a nice stretcher
Try to flex them biceps on my set I'll right/left ya
Pockets? Might check ya
One/two, mic check ya
Digest ya, cannibal, Hannibal Lecter, I'll dissect ya
Leave his guts hangin' out like Joker Starr in a tighter sweater
I'm too fuuuuckin' good to fuckin' lose to you
Plus when you raise your voice you sound like Scooby Doo
"Listen to me K!"
Mate just don't do it
Especially when your whole career's based on not tryin' to sound stupid
You either sound like a fuckin' 12 year old prepubescent student
Or Eminem tryin' to the do the chorus to 'Just Lose It'
AAAAAAaaaah
AAAAAAaaaah
It's Caustic AAAAAAaaah don't praise it
AAAAAAAaaah Shotty Horroh P from a holiday
Why the fuck do you do that when your rhymin' flawed
I'm tryin' to work out if I'm battlin' Mr. Bean Yoda or Barney The Dinosaur
Aaaaaaah or fuckin' Tarzan
Aaaaaaah
"Listen to me K!"
Translations: I never mean a single thing I say
I'm only actin' big when I'm on stage
I'm literally gay, I'm willing to admit I made the biggest of mistakes
By bringin' up your mate who's livin' in a grave
"And please fuckin' please don't hit me in the face!"
[Round 2: Caustic]
Chris Leese
{Caustic tries to sit down on a stool on stage like Chris Leese did in the beginning of the battle but Chris kicks it out from under him}
My mom's pregnancy lasted six weeks
Little face; big teeth
Tattoos on my arm; sick ink
Hope you brought your mountain climbin' gear; shit's peak
Chris Leese
Homie likes to throw shots, he might blow up but he'll never go pop
He be in the pub takin' his wedding ring off
[Chris Leese]
Here we fuckin' go
[Caustic]
He be in the pub takin' his wedding ring off like the party don't stop
Yellin' in bitch's ears like, "I said, have you heard of Don't Flop?"
Listen to this fuckin' retard isn't an option
I don't think Chris is a problem
One punch will have him talkin' like Christopher Walken
Catch you kickin' it police and I'll put this snitch in a coffin
You kick it with Piglets bitch you Christopher Robin
You need to make a lil' face and some shit
Gruesome as shit, dawg if ever played Captain Save A Hoe while I'm pimpin' a bitch
I'll bust a bottle on his face like I'm fuckin' tryin' to christen his shit
He's from Macclesfield, not exactly a place of celebration
Football club's in 24th place...in league 2 [?]
I said I'm strapped in...like a mental patient
Late for his medication
Met his wife, tryin' to make his wife my main bitch I got a kennel waitin'
Metal cages, degradation
After I fuck she said I'm racist cause I knock more hoes down than segregation
Never chase him
Catch him slippin' then Leatherface him
Hell awaits him
This Is The End make homie feel like Jonah Hill
[Guy in the crowd]
Whoo!
[Caustic]
Yeah, that's a real ass person
Wait 'til you pop that beer look like Chris's wife pussy when it's squirtin'
Dawg, this fuckin' can't be real
Yo whole family's gonna go broke so you can be the Macklemore of Macclesfield
Your bitch said that in bed you be softer than a daffodil
Now she can't cum without a toy in her box like a fuckin' Happy Meal
Dressed in all black it'll be a Dark Knight (night) when your cap gets peeled
Clap the steel, shit'll push his whole roof back like the Batmobile
You fuckin' barely survive when you battled Quill
And I watched T put him to sleep like chamomile
[Chris Leese]
I've never battled Quill
[Caustic]
You never battled Quill?
I don't know I don't watch your shit
Bitch I will cut your fuckin' neck open like a slasher film
Since you wanna be a Shark so bad it's only right that I add some gills
I mean he tricks y'all, he raps fast and makes you think he hasn't got a decent pen
But meanwhile in the crowd they're like, "Which one is Chris Leese again?"
Like, "Oh you know him. The one with the inner BPM permanently set to fuckin' EDM."
What, you get tired of like fuckin' ridin' your tractor?
You're like the third best one on Shark City dude, you're really climbin' the ladder
It's like he came to Shotty like, "People think I'm funny but they don't think I'm that tight of a rapper."
Shotty's like, "Why does it matter? If they don't react just try rhymin' it faster."
You remind me of one of those little Make A Wish Foundation kids is dyin' of cancer
And your final request was fuckin' writing for Raptor
He keeps talkin' about my pink shirt like I'm gettin' embarrassed
But damn Chris you got man tits I'm just tryin' to raise some breast cancer awareness
[Round 3: Chris Leese]
Got Illmac over here, little cheerleader, wavin' that shit 'round like it's good
You're the pussy, sorry you're the pussy, he's the clitoris that's why he's holdin' the pink hood
I said YO
Yo!
Bruv, I said yo
Bro, we know you said yo
You said you said yo 16 times in every battle since 16 fuckin' battles ago
Think it's impressive? No?
Then why do you always boast
As if the crowd's gonna blow like, "YO BRO HE JUST FUCKIN' SAID YOOOO!"
You don't need to tell us you said yo, just fuckin' say yo
It's confusin', I don't know which way to go
When you say you said yo, are you just tryin' to say yo?
Or you're referring to a time in the past when you previously said you said yo
Anyway, it's time to let go
So check this for a joke
Caustic asked me what the yellow bit inside an egg is, I said, "YOLK"
Trust me 'bout one thing I know, "Listen to me K!" Man, you're a hoe
You ain't no battling GOAT, you just battle the GOATS
Unless it's Don't Flop or King Of The Dot your views are drastically low
The only reason this Italian's known in the game is cause of the platform like Mario Bros
He's insecure, the exact kinda rapper I loath
He brags and he boasts like he's got the nastiest quotes
But every fan in here knows it's an act just for show
His character's more see thru than Casper The Ghost
Think of all the rhymes this nob's stole
I would've wiped my ass with the material you ripped off; [?]
These hands have made Muppets move like Gonzo
I will see him vanish like the video for 'Crossroads'
It's target practice with tin cans if he ever shot Coke
But this is apple on the head precision, come get a glass of Strongbow
Jed would've beat you easy if he did not choke
But just as in a big Smokey Robinson (smoke he robbin' son) doesn't mean he got Soul
See I ain't the same as all these battle rappin' fags
They'll fuckin' battle anyone so long as they get their travel back
"A free vacation to England Scrappy?"
Dan will pack his bags, but this trip will stay with him forever like a bad acid tab
Now you're stuck thinkin' 'bout this shit
Now you're stuck in the middle of me, you better think quick
I'll cut ya fuckin' ear off, you won't hear shit
You're gonna bark all day? What's a little bitch to a big Pit?
But this ain't Reservoir Dogs your bird can get the pink tip
So fuck you to anyone that labels this prick as a wordsmith
Fuck your shock tactics and fuck the lies that you stick in your verses
Fuck the lyrics you sold and fuck the lyrics you purchased
I just killed you and buried you with the same shovel you've been diggin' your dirt with
Big up to the homie Soul, I hope he fuckin' rocks it
Just remember, if he wins he's Great Britain, if he loses he's Scottish
[Round 3: Caustic]
Are you still talkin' about the fuckin' jacket man?
[Chris Leese]
Nah, I just said you're a cunt
[Caustic]
First off, before this happens-
I said YOOOOO!
(YOOOO!)
That's how you do that shit
Fuck it I'm freestylin', aight
[Chris Leese]
Ooooh
[Caustic]
Nah, not the whole thing, don't fuckin' get excited
[Chris Leese]
I'm fuckin' bored man
[Caustic]
You're bored? Well shit this rebuttals 'bout to be makin' you happy
You talkin' shit 'bout my jacket when your fuckin' T-shirt looks like a restaurant nappy
I came to the UK, to clash with a top notch wordsmith
But now he prays victim like how gods got worshiped
But now that I'm here you want the top spot perfect
See this is where a Shotty script and a Joseph Kahn plot merges
Cause there's no way I'm gettin' Bodied by these knock off verses (Vs)
So even in your talent pool you considered an average dude; facts (fax)
Machine, that's how wack rappers get mass produced
You cop a fuckin' attitude I'll bust you in your snaggletooth
So if I have to snap on you I'm gonna use the same blood that Thanos used
My dude, if I saw you beggin' on the streets I wouldn't give you a quarter
You gotta wifey sittin' at home that he can barely support her
I hope you never have daughters, you'd be a fuckin' terrible father
No wonder you wanted to be a Shark so bad you can barely keep your fuckin' head above water
I will dump seamen (sea men) in that bitch, she's a ship in a bottle
I will put my dick in her tonsils and bust nuts until my jizz drips out her nostrils
Beat the pussy up; infinite combo
Sorry, 'Not Sorry' bitch; Demi Lovato
Beat me? Chris Leese you gotta better chance at winnin' the lotto
You got a bunch of squares in your circle y'all some chicken and waffles
Yo, when it comes to your wife's sex life she's the least involved
It's ironic they call him Shark City, right?
Cause she gave his whole team the Jaws
This bitch give out so much fuckin' brain that she de-evolved
Her mouth's basically just a fuckin' machine made to clean your balls
I mean I'm not gonna front on the bitch, the fuckin' head is amazin'
The problem is after all of us finish she fuckin' follows me around like a Federal agent
I mean she tried to fuck the whole squad on several occassions
Had the whole clique (click) bouncin' off the walls like echo locations
This bitch said vows in front of GOD that she'd never betray him
Now she's lookin' at her pussy sideways like sex wit' an Asian
I'll catch him while he's drivin', he's dead if I'm aimin'
Shit'll crack your whole hood like President Reagan
It's tight that you gettin' excited
And since you fuckin' love Jefferson Price you fuckin' found a bitch just like him
And fuckin' made her your wife, maybe that's why they call you Leese (lease)
Cause you're gonna pay for your mistakes for the rest of your life