All My Life, If I Had...

If my grandad weren't an alchie and beat his family
My nan woulda stayed in Ireland and mum wouldn't have had me
You probably think I'm lying if I told you exactly
I just know he was a sicko on the Guinness and brandy
And he was IRA so he hated the English
My nan knew this the last place that he'd come
She was right, I went back to see him buried no air in his lungs
And I'm sitting here in hell for my nan, are you dumb?

If my dad never walked in the African sun, daydreaming bout England and having a son
From Algeria to Belgium, from Belgium to France
So far away from home living life on the run
Then he made it across the border fell in love with my mum
She was fresh from Ireland, 17 so young
I was conceived in Barking and Dagenham, you cunt
No ifs or buts, it's just in my blood

What if I weren't born in Barking?
Both my parents had a better start?
The blame game's messy, I ain't starting
What if my nan never had a golden heart?
And all them nights that I stayed out late in the park
What if she never let my arse in?
What if I would've stayed my arse in school?
Instead of selling crack for some fool, who let me learn the game by myself, every rule

If I could go back I would've robbed that pussy
Took his line and his food 'cause I don't like bullies
Wait I did that, if you could've phoned me you could've got your shit back
If I would've hit him that was minimum of shitbag
If I was given love instead of locked up so young
I probably wouldn't have been a shitbag
If I never did jail for the last 15, then I probably couldn't tell that you're all miskeens
Scenes that I seen, man it's just obscene
If music paid Muni back, then where would he be?
Right here with me, running shit in my sleep
If I never met Billz I wouldn't be the man you see
If I showed you how to pick up all the pieces, digging deep
If you love me like I love you then love is all you need
If Flex was here with me that's all he would've needed
If Reece was here with me that's all he would've needed
I got ghetto angels walking with me, are you seeing this?

When I touch keys, I touch keys like a pianist
Elegant with it, in my element with it
Get my weapon and spin it
Back when they send me young offenders
In July or December, who remembers?
Everytime I lost a couple more bredrins
Everytime I came home to more tension

If I have to watch another eastenders
If I have to entertain these pretenders
If I wasn't let down all my life
Broke with no hope all my life
Then I wouldn't have sold drugs all my life
Went in and out of jail all my life

And I know if my nan was alive
She'd be proud of everything I have and what I've built from the ground
I went my own way, look how I split from the crowd
I'm taking your head if I come for the crown
Lung full of loud if I never go gold I'm triple platinum
In these streets, I'm renowned
With this sound, I'm profound
I used to think I could never go broke if I had a million pound
If I had a million pound
Shit, what if I had a million pound